This is a story written as if Jenna and Tyler wrote it. As if it was true events that accured in their lives.
Disclaimer: it mentions self harm, and sexual harassment. If you're triggered by either of those I suggest you don't read. However, I will...
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Warnings: anxiety attack.
Words 669
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• Jenna •
This was it. The last show. The last show Jenna's big blue eyes would see for a while. The last time she'll see Tyler smiling his huge stage smile as he bops around on the stage.
She didn't know what to think. Should she be happy for him? Well, duh, this was his dream of course she should be happy for him. But what about her? It was selfish, but she didn't want him to go because she needed him. And she knew he probably wouldn't even think of her while on tour. He would have to much exciting things going on.
She felt emotional as Tyler and Josh bowed in front of their fans. All 10,000 of them. That's right. 10,000 people. 10,000 people that will soon grow into 100,000s.
It made Jenna proud, but also scared. More fans meant more tours, longer tours, and less time together. Was she really up for that? No, of course she was. She's overthinking.
"Did you see that?" Tyler cheered, jumping up and down. His adrenaline was still pumping.
"Yeah, I did. That was amazing." Jenna put on a smile. That's right, she put it on. She forced it to her lips for the happiness of her loved one. She didn't want him to think she's selfish for this. She knew she was, but she couldn't stand it if it was vocalized.
Tyler laughed, shifting his gaze to the cheering fans waving their hands, asking for more songs. "That's the biggest crowd we've ever had."
Jenna watched as his face became proud, and full of life. He was so passionate about his work, and about his fans. She was a terrible person for feeling the way she felt about the situation. She should be happy for him. Hell with her feelings, it was his dream.
Tyler ruffled his wet hair with a towel as he sat down on the couch, fully clean and showered. Josh soon joined him, along with Debby sitting on his lap.
Jenna watched as they all shared a nice conversation, sending Tyler and Josh into a fit of laughter.
The air began to feel thin, and her chest felt heavy. She was going to miss so much, and she wasn't up for it. She couldn't sit here and act like everything was okay, because it wasn't. Her whole life was crumbling around her, and it was all because Tyler was going on tour.
She felt like when her brother left for college. All of her secrets were going with him, and she was left to fend for herself.
She began to heave for a breath, as she began to see her vision darken and her head felt dizzy.
She sat down onto the closest arm rest, rubbing her eyes to help them to fixate.
She felt a hand on her shoulder, and then a small mumble. "Jenna, you okay? You look pale."
She looked up to see Tyler's worried expression. She bit her lip to keep her breathing level calm. She had to get up and get fresh air or she might suffocate. At least that what she thought. "I need to get air."
She quickly got up and pushed the big metal exit door open. "Do you want me to go with you?" Tyler yelled after her.
"No." She replied, shutting the door and putting her hands on her knees. She gasped heavily for a breath she needed.
The crickets of the night were barely heard from Jenna, no matter how loud they were being. She began to shake as the cold air nipped her arms. She was wearing a tank top in at least 50 degree weather. But even though he body was cold, and her mind was racing all she could really think about was one thing.
He was leaving.
He was leaving and wasn't coming back for a whole month.
She couldn't do this. She couldn't.
You know what you do when you don't know how to handle things?
