Anger for the INFP

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Haha, I lied about taking a while to update 😅 the next update probably won't take to terribly long either 👍

Thank you @cherrycandylol for the suggestion 😊

(keep in mind, answers may very for different INFPs )
It's one of the most unpleasant experiences for us and usually others, if they catch us in those moments. Us INFPs truly hate feeling any negative or conflicting emotions. We follow our idealism that's carefully mapped through the interactions of the social world and our internal value system, intricately forging a world comfortable enough for us to navigate.

Despite how others might look at our introverted feeling quality as "me me me" or (worse) self-absorbed/selfish, healthy and mature INFPs actually do the opposite. We're almost so self-aware that we understand that everyone is entitled to their own reality, including our own. For this reason, I think we tend to be open-minded, forgiving, and willing to see past certain things for quite some time. BUT there is a limit.

We rarely show our anger and/or frustrations around those we aren't super, super, duper close to. For example, I'm very open with my brother because I trust him as he's family. Around him, I let it all out and don't hold back. However, even around my closest friends, acquaintances or others in general, I do my absolute best to contain myself. Sometimes, for this reason, I can appear detached or aloof in certain situations. It's not that I'm not paying attention, but I'm so worked up internally that I'm lost in my thoughts, trying to collect myself. We're also quite passive around people we don't fully trust to be open with our emotions. We'll laugh it off, pretend like we're okay, or somehow convince ourselves that we shouldn't feel this way.

But every once in awhile, there are those incredible moments where passivity switches to activity. What I mean is that, if someone truly violates my beliefs or messes with my values that are usually related to ethics and morals, the journey to hell begins. I get very, very quiet. This is me keeping to myself because I'm judging the crap out of you for what you just said or did. Instantly, my blood boils and I'm done. I'm over it. I'm not wasting my time on you. I'll avoid you at all costs or I won't bother forcing any fake conversations or emotions around you. I don't want to waste my time around you, and I'll literally not even interact with you. If I have to, it will be short, cold, and very business-like, which is the antithesis of the INFP type.

Simply put, I stop caring about your feelings because you violated mine after many attempts to look past it. My body language screams, "YOU DON'T EXIST TO ME!" If the individual provokes me further, I explode. I will call you out on everything, say it all as it is, no more sugarcoating or mistaking my patience for weakness. It's this strange combination of sassy, and treachery that balls up into one. This is my demon side—what I like to call it. It's a stark contrast from my natural demeanor. This rarely happens though, like very rarely. (super rarely) But when we get angry, we really get angry. It's basically rage.

Over the years, however, I've learned to be more assertive and bring up something if it bothered me, instead of boiling it inside me and have it just flood out one day. It's just healthier. I think that as calm and peaceful INFPs like to present to others, there's a price that comes with this. Before we hit true anger, we will do everything we can to avoid situations that can trigger us, whether it's stepping away, asking others to leave us in peace for awhile, or escaping into our own mental retreat. But when true anger hits, our ideal world turns completely upside down.

tl;dr - If you go against our morals and or beliefs that we hold very strongly, it will make us mad. Whether it be us avoiding you so as to avoid conflict, simply raising our voice a bit to get our point across, or completely exploding, we all have our different ways of expressing anger. (if I didn't quite answer what you're looking for @cherrycandylol please, let me know.)

EXTRA:
What are some things that would make an INFP mad?
(disclaimer, most of this stuff is just in MY personal opinion, if you have anything else to add, feel free ☺️)

• Lying

• Attention seeking

• Arrogance

• Opinions that disrespect the existence of others

• Gossiping

• Narcissists

• People who treat others like trash

• Disrespect

• Trying to attack any of my friends or family, or the things they are doing (like hobbies and such)

• Openly attacking things I'm passionate about for no particular reason

• Passive aggression (especially when they get mad at me. Like when someone says 'it would be nice if you did the dishes, but I guess I'll do them.' like okay, have fun...) (that's from my brother if you were wondering)

• cruelty of and shape or form, it doesn't matter whom it's from

• people who think it's okay to walk all over you

• people who interrupt you when you're trying to speak (even though sometimes I'm guilty of doing just that, but I usually go back and ask them what they were going to say. That way they don't feel left out of the conversation.)

Okay, that's all. If you have anything else you'd like to see about anger in the INFP, just let me know, and I'll do what I can :)

I hope you have a wonderful day 😁
-Ava❤️

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