Infinity||H.S.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go

"So open up the doors
The shape of our heart's the same
Let's find a way back to us somehow, some way
We've built something beautiful we can't replace
By chasing every breaking wave"

****

Noelle

"I'm in love with you."

My eyes snap open and I sit up on the bed, feeling my heart beat fast as I run my hands over my face and through my hair, tugging at it.

I had another dream. This time Harry and I didn't have sex. He told he loves me and kissed me.

It felt so real.

My skin is damp with sweat, my throat still slightly sore and my head still hurts, but I feel better, not helpless like yesterday, even if probably I'm still running a fever.

I blindly reach for my phone on the nightstand to check the hour, but don't find it. The sun is shining through the windows, and by the looks of it, I think it's mid-morning.

Last time I opened my eyes was night, so I guess I slept a lot.

I hear noises coming from downstairs, someone opening and closing my kitchen's cabinets and a strong aroma of coffee hits my nostrils.

Harry must still be here.

Yesterday everything seemed back to normal, and honestly, I don't know how I feel about him now. I'm still very angry and I still don't want to be near him, but on the other hand, I'm grateful for how he took care of me.
Plus, the strange dream I had, left a bitter-sweet feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I had my fair share of dreams, nightmares and even night terrors about Harry, but never he said he loved me in one of them. Even my subconscious knew it was impossible, so why now? Why was my mind playing me these tricks again?

I tear the covers away from my body and shiver. I'm wearing just a tank top and some cotton shorts, and if I wasn't sick, I wouldn't feel cold, it's the end of June after all. But since I'm a dumb ass - not only I decided to stand under the rain with Harry but I even walked for half an hour under it after I left him outside the bakery - now I'm sick, hence I'm cold, hence I need to put on something warmer.

Standing up I drag my feet into the walk-in closet and grab an old 'Columbia University' blue hoodie - Thomas left here with another bunch of his clothes - putting it over the tank top I'm wearing and cover my feet with a pair of fluffy socks.

The hoodie is way too big for me, the sleeves completely cover my hands and the hem rests under my ass, but it's warm and cosy, who cares if I look like a minion in it.

I put on my glasses and walk down the stairs, my hand gripping the bannister tightly as I feel dizzy.

When I step on the first floor, I turn the corner of the stairs and see Harry moving around my kitchen, a dishcloth hanging on his shoulder, as he sings something I don't recognize under his breath.

He changed his clothes. If I'm not mistaken - and seeing the state I was in yesterday it might be - yesterday he was wearing a withe t-shirt and a pair of black shorts. He still has on the same shorts, but the t-shirt is different. This one is grey with an eagle on it and the Harley Davidson crest.