Freak

15.

"I knew you were drawing me... again..." she said, giving him a pointed look. Arthur could only chuckle and squeeze her shoulder "Why shouldn't I, could you imagine if I had to draw Dutch's ugly mug? He'd get so full of himself that he'd ask for an oil painting!" she giggled at his statement, knowing fully well that it probably wasn't much of an overstatement.

"Well don't you have enough of me soon? There are sooo many!" with a laugh she threw the journal back into his lap and cuddled into his side, arms wrapped around his torso, head on his collarbone "and there must be funnier things to draw papa..."

"Nah, I like drawing my little girl, and since she won't allow any photos taken of her..." he paused for a moment, giving her the chance to think about it, but knowing fully well that she wouldn't change her mind "I have to do something to remember her childhood years, you'll be grown up and out of here before I know it."

"Why would I leave just because I'm grown... that's stupid, Dutch says I can run the gang when he's too old."

Arthur laughed at the thought "Dutch won't let this gang go until he's 6 feet underground kid. And besides... you know how I feel about you living this life forever, it ain't safe, nor is it easy. And you like reading an' stuff, you should go to school."

"I won't go to no school if you ain't there and you know it!" yeh, she'd told him quite a few times.

"You say that because you're 10 Blue, you just wait a few years and you'll be glad to leave your old man behind" he winked at her, once again giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze accompanied with a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'm 9 papa..."

"Only for another week darlin', speaking of that; anything you wish for?"

"That you stop filling your journal with pictures of me?" she looked up at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Sorry kid, ain't happening, anything else?" Arthur knew well enough that Blue felt awkward asking for things, or receiving for that matter, but the girl was turning 10 for god's sake, he couldn't just not give her anything!

"I want you to teach me to draw then so I can fill a journal witch pictures of you, oh and also you said we'd go riding" One year earlier on her birthday Hosea had fixed her an old mare, a pony that she named PonPon, for her to learn riding on. She was quite good, animals loved her, but she still wasn't aloud to ride on her own which was the bane of her existence, and with most gang members busy during the day she'd have to wait for the opportunity to do it.

"We can go for a ride now if you want?"

***

It was the day before Blue's birthday and Arthur found himself in a small general-store in a little town he didn't know the name of. Blue had asked him to teach her how to draw as a present and so after a lot of thinking he realized that his best bet for a gift was probably a journal and pencil, like the ones he had. The offered range of journals wasn't all that great in town and though he wished he could get her a fancier one he ended up getting a small, simple, brown, leather-bound book and a wooden graphite pencil to go with it. Knowing she'd be happy witch anything, no matter how small, he didn't worry about her getting disappointed. What he did worry about, however, was being out-present-ed... Most gang- members got her something small or got together to get her something but it was their leader who took it most seriously. In Dutch's eyes' Blue was a little princess and should be treated accordingly. If Blue had wanted to she could have gotten anything and everything from the man. Most of the time it was quite funny but sometimes it bothered Arthur that Dutch was so much better at giving presents and such. It bothered him that whenever he gave her something he thought was good, Dutch would give her something better. The year before Arthur gave her a silver neckless, it was expensive and he was proud to give it to her, that was until he saw that Dutch had gotten her o gold one... and Hosea gave her a pony... all of a sudden his neckless didn't seem all that good. Sure Blue had over and over again told him that she preferred silver anyways but who knew if she was just telling him that to make him feel better.