Robin one shot part 3!

Lesbians I presume

Alfred_Is_A_Badass wanted another genderbend and it's gay month so lesbians

Also, I made this a little cracky at the end because I think it's really funny but still cw for suggestive themes

An hour before Dick came home, Barbara had received a message that he was going to be late and that she better not laugh when he came in. Thinking nothing much of the text, Barbara went about her day as usual. She then got a text ten minutes before he came home that said: "Seriously, I'm not in the mood please don't laugh." Now Barbara loves her wonderful boyfriend. He was kind, he was sweet and he really made her feel special. Yet no matter how much she loved him, with this much warning she was going to laugh at whatever it was. She was watching TV when she heard the key go in the lock and she primed herself for whatever came through that door. The knob turned and Dick walked through with his head hung low but he didn't look like Dick. No, he looked like a woman. Not just any woman though, a rather beautiful woman. So instead of laughing so hard she fell off the couch, Barbara sat there completely silent. This would be better known as internal bi distress. "Boobs," she finally stated.

"I'm aware," Dick replied. "Some dumbass scientist was like "WhY doNt I tURn tHe POLicE intO ThE WROnG genDEr" instead of, I don't know, selling the tech so trans people can have a pain free transition so now I'm stuck like this until one of our guys does something."

"Boobs."

"Yes, boobs. Boobs that are so big they make my shirt buckle so if you look at me from the side you can see them!" he complained. 

"I need a minute," she replied. "Uh sit down." He joined her on the couch as she looked him up and down. 

"Look this is temporary and I'll be back to normal at some point-"

"We have a gala tonight."

They stared at each other. How had Dick forgotten he had a gala tonight? He opened his mouth to say something then closed it again. Barbara couldn't get the thought out of her head and his lips looked so soft and his hair was just long enough to tug on whilst- "Babs?" The ginger blinked a few times to see a hand waving in front of her. "Are you feeling alright?"

"You're really hot." A blush crept up on Dick's cheeks.

"Uhm we sorta need to concentrate on the matter at hand. But I mean we could leave the gala early?" Barbara's face lit up. 

"You'd let me? You don't have to if you feel uncomfortable with that."

"No no, it'd be kinda fun. Maybe I'll learn a few things," he replied. She could've taken him right there but she had some restraint. Emphasis on some. It would take a lot of strength not to drool over him 24/7. At least when he looked how he usually looked, she'd had a good few years of practice. Why did he have to look so amazing all the freaking time? "Anyway, save that for later, we've got a problem."

"Right yes boobs. Safe to say you're not wearing your suit," she pointed out. 

"I could try one of your dresses?"

"Your uhm girls a little bigger than mine. We could try and tape them down?" she suggested.

"Does that hurt?" he asked. 

"Depends how sensitive they are. I'm sure you'll work through it."

Barbara, after suggesting some more risque things, found a 50s style dress that would compliment her boyfriend's new curves. It was a bright red and would go well with the heels Dick had bought out of boredom. Some would call that irresponsible spending but he called an investment and in this case, it worked out. One day the inflatable pizza float would also work out. They had a shower, separately unfortunately for Barbara, then began to get ready. "So how do you know how to tape your boobs down?" Dick asked. He looked at the roll of ducktape in his girlfriend's hands a little fearfully. He remembered tucking and he really hoped it wasn't like that. "It helps on missions sometimes to get them out the way. I don't do it often though." She motioned for him to take off his towel and her jaw could've dropped to the floor when she saw them. "Like what you see?" Dick asked with a smirk. "Close your mouth before you catch flies."

"I'm too bi for this," she mumbled. It took some working but they managed to get something manageable. "You should probably let Bruce know about your predicament."

"You think he doesn't know? There's already memes about me," he replied. "God Jay is going to have a field day with this."

"Aww poor Dickie is gettin made fun of," she taunted. 

"Don't start or I won't do your make up."

"Ha, you have tits!" Jason exclaimed. He got a sharp slap on the arm from Dick. He was definitely not in the mood to deal with his taunts. 

"I'll beat your fucking ass got that?" Dick muttered between gritted teeth. 

"Woah, calm down. What's got your panties in a twist?" That earned a punch. "Ow!" 

"Stop being mean to your brother he's had a tough day," Bruce scolded. 

"But he made me have a good day, I'll tell you that," Barbara commented. "Maybe later he can make it even better," she added. 

"This day can't get any worse." He shouldn't have said that. Because of course, it could get worse. 

Suddenly there was an almighty crash and the music screeched to a halt. Everyone's eyes went to look where the sound had come from only to see four men wielding guns. People attempted to escape but all the doors had been locked. They were trapped. One of the men lunged forward and took Dick in his arms, pressing the end of the gun against his temple. Everyone either gasped or tensed up with terror. Well everyone except Dick who was very quickly losing his patience. "Now that we have our bargaining chip, I think we can make a good deal," the man announced. Bruce was about to ask him to name his price when he caught eyes with Dick. Immediately, he knew this wasn't going to end well for the kidnappers. "You know what? Fuck this," Dick announced. He punched the man in the crown jewels which slackened his grip, allowing the acrobat to get out of it whilst also grabbing his gun. The tables turned when he grabbed the masked man and held the gun to his head instead. "I'm 1000% done with this fucking day so," he paused and aimed the gun at the three other men. "Just." He shot the first in the knees. "Fuck." There go the second guy's kneecaps. "Off." And the third was on the ground. He finally pointing the gun to the man who dared to grab him. "Dickheads." A resounding groan in sympathy of what part the man was shot in could be heard before Dick threw him to the ground along with the gun. 

"You didn't have to go for the dick," Jason mumbled, secretly proud of the older.

"I have tits, Jason! Tits! I have no patience left!" he yelled. "Barbara!" 

"Yeah?" she asked. 

"We're going home and you're fucking me. That's about the only way to save this day," he stated, taking her hand. She smirked. 

"No complaints here."

"I told you Dick was a sub but noooo Bruce raises doms suurrreee," Steph commented.

"No no, Dick doesn't count. He was the first one," Tim argued.

"Stop talking about Dick being a sub!" Bruce shouted, sticking his fingers in his ears.

"Is no one gonna talk about how my daughter is a dom? Like I raised that girl well, is no one gonna tell me I did well?" Commissioner Gordan stated.

This is just so dumb XD