broken,lost and ripped apart

does love last when your lost?

Marcy's P.O.V

When the boy I thought was luke answered the door I was shocked because he was so much more attractive up close.At that moment I knew it was luke because when the boy smiled at my dad I could see dimples and they were Luke's dimples.Right then and there I wanted to jump on him and hug him and tell him how much I missed him and say sorry for being such a bitch. But I couldn't because I can still never forgive him and at that moment I feel upset angry and shocked.All Michael and my dad could see was the shocked part of my expression,Michael was also as shocked as I was.My father decided to hand the soon to be known boy the cookies and before he had the chance to say anything an older woman had walked into the doorway.It was Liz Hemmings.Oh my goodness I missed her so much,going by my natural instinct I had to show no emotion because Luke was there so I panicked and dropped the plate of cookies and ran as fast as I could until I reached my house.I kicked my shoes off not caring where they went and I noticed I dropped the mail but I didn't care I needed to be alone and away from Luke and Liz even though I missed both of them dearly.I just can't go back to him after all he did to me.

~flashback~
Me and Luke are sitting on the couch watching a movie,i don't even think he watching it because I'm not and were just talking. Basically we're talking about me and my arse of a boyfriend,he wants to have sex with me even though he's cheating, Luke says I should break up with him but Luke doesn't know that my boyfriend hits me and I don't want to get hit more by not having sex with him.After a few moments of Luke thinking he blurts out "we should have sex!".I've never been so shocked by what Luke had just said.He started explaining that it would be great because if my boyfriend was going to have sex with me then I wouldn't be a virgin.Luke also said that even though we're only 16 it's so right because we loved each other and it wouldn't be awkward because we where so close.I thought about what he said it made so much sense.Then I turned toward him and my heart took over and I kissed Luke I wasn't sure why but I was so happy with him I needed to.He was surprised at first but then he started kissing back,before it got to heated I separated our lips starring into his beautiful eyes.I'be never seen him so flirty with me or any girl because he was such an awkward penguin but the conversation we had never could never surprise me more.

Luke:when do you want to.. you know...do it?
Marcy: I'm not sure but as soon as possible,maybe tomorrow.
Luke:eger are we ms.clifford
Marcy:yes I am ms.hemmings
Luke:hey I'm not a lady!
Marcy:yeah yeah whatever,promise me you won't tell anyone what we're doing
Luke:I promise only if after we have..sex you need to be my girlfriend
Marcy:I pinky promise soon to be boyfriend

Its the next day after that whole ordeal with Luke.At school he's bee just the same but during study hall he ran us out of the class and he jogged toward the boys bath room.I asked what he was doing all of a sudden he sound different he had a rasp in his voice when he said "this" .Before I could take it all in I was pinned against the wall and mine and Luke's mouths are locked together.When we kiss it feels amazing, I fall more and more in love with him every time it happens.Kissing him now at this moment makes me think of what's going to happen later today and I couldn't be more excited

~later that day~
Luke's Mum has to pick us up from school because neither of us can driveAs soon as we get to his house his mum leaves to go to the shops,his dad is at work till 11pm and his brothers are both out so me and Luke are left alone.Moments after Luke's mum has left he whips of his shoes and our backpacks and carries me up the stairs bridal style.Once upstairs Luke locks his lips onto mine and I smile into the kiss.Luke started making the kiss more heated he then Tryed putting his tongue into my mouth but i denied to tease him.He got frustrated and flipped us so I was under him.Luke started to straddle me at first slowly and then more rough.I've never seen him like this and honestly I was getting scared.What if Luke was using me for sex?what if he tells people? I was thinking so much I haven't even noticed he was done straddling me and was now talking of his clothing.First his shirt,then his jeans.After he did so he stared nipping at my neck leaving small but visible love bites.Luke started pulling at my shirt to signal he wanted it off so I obeyed and was now starting at me."Marceline gill Clifford your so beautiful" I can feel my face getting redder and he cups my cheeks making our lips touch once again after what seemed like forever both me and luke where in only our undergarments.Marcy are you ready? Luke says in an almost whisper.Yes Luke I'm ready as long as you are.
he takes his hands to my sides and pulls down my knickers leaving me bare expect my bra which he was already unclasping.i lingered my hands by his crouch feeling him shift which sets shivers down his spine as I remove his boxers.Now both of us being nude he grabs a shiny packet and opens it placing it on himself.He then leans in to me and asks on more time if I'm ready I say yes and slowly he places himself inside of me.This hurt very much but after a while it felt better.While all this was going on Luke had whispered in my ear that he loved me.Luke loves me I can't believe it.LUCAS ROBERT HEMMINGS LOVES ME.My favorite part of this whole story is that I love him back.
After that wonderful experience I had taken a shower and asked Luke for clothes he gave me a white jumper with a penguin on it and black lounge pants.i stayed the night at Luke's.Until Michael had snuck into the hemmings household and dragged me home.He was asking why I was over at Luke's and I told him,he was so shocked but then he was angry.I explained why we did it and why it was right, he understands but he's still upset with Luke.He's the best brother in the world

~next morning~
When I woke up in the morning I noticed that Luke had texted me

Luke: hey babe ;) <3 did you have fun last night?
Marcy: haha yeah I did and don't call me babe that's so weird :-)
Luke:don't you remember your my girlfriend I'm allowed to call you babe
Marcy:oh yeah I totally forgot I was so excited about what was going to happen i didn't even think about us dating<3
Luke :it ok I just remembered after you left oh can I have you seen my jumper I can't find it
Marcy:oh sorry I don't but I need to get ready see you soon :)<3
Luke: bye babe xx

I knew where is jumper was, it was on my dresser.I think I only lied because I wanted to have something of Luke's so when he's gone I can still smell him.
When I was getting ready all I could think about was Luke and what he said,did he really love me?If he did then did I love him back?This feeling is all so new.I finished getting ready by slipping on black jeans and a black nirvana shirt.I didn't bother putting my hair up so I straightened it because Luke's loves when I do that and it's easier.When I got to school I didn't text Luke because I had forgotten my phone at home.As I was walking down the halls everyone I passed stopped talking and gave me looks of hatred,some people called out slut or whore one guy asked if Luke was good when he's forced.I was so confused did Luke say something.I was interrupted by a large black sign on my locker that said WHORES GO TO HELL there were other signs that said that same thing.one was a picture of luke and it said forcing guys to fuck you is not okay.by this time I was upset,angry and hurt.I decided to go ask luke what happened.When I reached his locker he was there alone.I guess I scared him because he jumped and turned around.I immediately asked what was going on. Babe it's not what you think I didn't tell anyone we had sex Luke said roughly but at the same time in a comforting way. How did he know that I was talking about people thinking we had sex then I knew that he had been telling people and I dropped to the ground I felt his arms around me and I moved away and once I was pulled to my feet he held my by my shoulders.I Tryed to get out of his grasp but it was to strong,i had a chance to leave his large hands and I took it before I stormed off I told him I wanted nothing to do with him as long as I lived and I was glad he was leaving for America never to be in my life again.He reached for my hand but I ripped it away from him and slapped his face storming off leaving him forever confused and hurt

After that day my life was never the same people hated me and I became depressed and I had started to cut my feelings for Luke never died down I always lies him but I had to be angry because he did that to me and be that's he's back in my life I feel so...lost