His Willow

Chapter 11

Doctor? Cell? Trying to rack my brain of little knowledge, I looked up to Alaric in search of answers, wondering why he has a doctor in a cell and why that is necessary? All this new brain activity was giving me a headache, getting thrown into reality like getting dumped in a tub of ice, it was harsh, and I will never get used to it.

The men said a few other words, but I tuned them out, Not wanting my headache to intensify. Instead, I pressed my head against Alaric's chest, listening to the booming sensation of his heartbeat and smiling at the sound, feeling it drum against my ear and tickling my senses.

Since being in Alaric's care, I have grown to love and appreciate the touch of another person. As a child, my mother threw me around and treated me like nothing, so the only time anyone touched me was for nasty intent, never once in a loving way and I've craved love for a very long time, wondering what a loving touch felt like. And now that I've felt that warmth and gentleness, I crave it. It's a deep-rooted need that runs through me and its become addicting, the simple act of a hug to a person means very little, but to me, it feels indescribable, being held so tight and handled so gently, it makes me feel like I'm safe, like I'm wanted.

So in this intimate position, wrapped in each others embrace outside on Alaric's porch, with a crowd of three intimidating men, I felt so good inside. A feeling that none of those men will understand unless they grew up like myself and others like me, it's like we are reborn into a new being, its that powerful and its intoxicating. But it takes a lot of strength to put your trust into a person like that, giving them that level of power over you, because the more trust you put into that person, the easier it is to break you.

My mind was miles away, and I failed to notice my feet were no longer on the ground, and my body was moving, taking me by surprise when I finally snapped out my head and looked around me.

"There's my pretty angel, you okay? I lost you for a few minutes." Alaric said, chuckling at the end. I smiled up at Alaric and nodded my head, trying to reassure him I was okay, very okay might I add.

"You my angel are on bed rest for a week, and I will be caring for you every second of the day, so I hope you don't grow sick of me." Alaric laughed, entering the living room with myself hoisted around his waist.

As if I could get sick of Alaric, he is everything I could ever want. Also, I am dying to get to know him; I want to know every little detail about my saviour, only if he is comfortable with sharing his story with me.

"N-nnever si-k of yoou." I stuttered groggily, feeling my throat burn and my mouth as dry as a desert.

Alaric laid me down onto the couch and sat on the edge, facing over me, tucking a thick grey blanket over my broken body and kissing my head softly, making me gaze up with a twinkle in my eye, never feeling so happy.

"I can't get enough of you, my love," Alaric said, lifting my good hand into his and resting it on his lap, keeping it hostage under his grip.

I smiled up and breathed in shakily, my body wanting to laugh, but it couldn't handle that just yet so I probably looked crazy in Alaric's eyes, seeing me breathe in deeply and shakily instead of vocalising anything, a horror to witness I'm sure.

But Alaric didn't tease me for it or make me feel stupid, he held my hand tight and smiled at me with admiration.

He has no idea how grateful I am of his patience and generosity, one day when I'm better and able; I will pour my heart out to him and thank him for everything he's done for me, I want to do it so badly. Still, my body needs to get better first before I start unloading everything in me that I couldn't say before.

After a moment of silence between us, I watched Alaric release of his hands from mine and pull the blanket down to my waist, confused about what he was doing, I sat completely still with my guard up, ready to run if he tries to strike me.

He lifted my top very slowly, and my mind was going wild, conjuring up horrible memories and scenarios that could possibly happen. But Alaric had no horrible intentions. He lowered his hand over the thick bandages covering my ribs, feeling the gauze and delicately assessing my abdomen with his fingertips. Looking up to his face it was something I hadn't seen before, his expression strained, and he looked like he was the one in pain, feeling the bandages and watching his expression turn darker and torn.

"I wish I were there; I should have been there to save you. Damn, I'm so f*cking stupid!" Alaric shouted at himself, his head dropping to my arm, and his body was shaking from rage, veins popping out his skin and his forehead was burning up by the second.

Alarmed and concerned, I used my other bandaged hand to lift his face and hold his chin, pushing his head to face me so I could see the extent of his inner turmoil.

I tapped his cheek to get his attention and shook my head violently, trying to tell him to stop being so angry at himself and to show him I'm fine.

"You don't get it, angel, I am supposed to protect you with my life, I'm supposed to love and care for you with every fibre in my being. If I can't save you from a flight of stairs, then I have no hope in guarding you." Alaric seethed at himself, gripping his knee with his right fist and holding it with a grip that looked far to aggressive for my liking. Watching his sharp nails pierce the skin with streams of blood running down his leg, it snaped a triggering cord within my brain that sent me into hysterics. It all happened in a split second, one moment I was watching down in horror, the next I was screaming in agony, watching the pain inflicted on his body and seeing the blood run down in streams. It instantly reminded me of the grip my father would have on me, fastening handcuffs to my wrists and ankles way too tight with jagged nails added onto the inside of the cuffs, effortlessly splitting my skin open when he would tug me around the house.

My hysterics seemed to snap Alaric out of whatever was going on in his head, as he immediately let go of his knee and leaned down to hug me, trying everything he can to stop my tears. It's scary to think that this was all it took to set me off, a simple act that can trigger a memory and send me into a fit.

"I'm so sorry angel; I'm fine I promise little one," He repeated against my head, rubbing my sides but keeping his hand resting firmly over my ribs, trying to steady my chest from all the deep breathing I was doing from crying and disrupting my healing ribs.

"Look Willow I'm healing, I'm fine angel." Alaric pleaded, turning my head to face his leg once again and watch his wounds heal before my very eyes. My hallucinations must be becoming more frequent because there was nothing else to explain what I just saw, watching five deep gaping gashes all close up at the same time, little scars left in their place.

While taking deep breaths and thinking over what just transpired since entering this house, I realised I wasn't the only one with faults and troubles. Alaric showed a side of him that I hadn't been exposed to before. I knew he was a proud man and a possessive one at that, protecting the people he loves and his compassionate side he has shown me the whole time I have known him. Although, as I learn more about his personality and new sides to my mystery saviour, I realise he isn't as perfect as I thought.

Alaric has flaws just like the rest of us, although he is a handsome man with a well-built figure and a heart of gold towards me, he has his moments of anger and aggression that occur when he's not in control of a situation.

But even though he has these turns of rage and dominance, I like him just the same, and if not even more now I know his downfalls, because he feels more human now, knowing he isn't perfect and has those sides you wish you could push to the back of your mind. It's impossible to find a person with nothing at fault; it proves that we are all only human.