One More Goodbye

Chapter 1: Birthday

“It's a good morning! Wake up to a brand new day! This morning! I'm stepping on my- Stepping on my way!”

I groan, and blindly search for my phone with my free hand. Finally, when I find it, I press the off button to shut off the alarm. Sighing contently, I snuggle back into the shelter of my warm covers.

“Hello? Jen, are you there? Hello?”

“Are you kidding me!” I huff and open my eyes. Ignoring my messy room, I reach again for my blue phone.

“I can track you down easily, Jenna. Never underestimate a mother!” The phone continues blaring out.

Why did I force her to record this ring tone? I ask myself before I answer it.

“Hello?” I ask groggily. I fight to keep my eyes open. What time is it anyways?

“Jen, please tell me you weren't asleep! It's ten in the morning!”

“O snap, I got to get ready for some kind of exam!” I scream. Throwing off the purple covers, I jump out of bed. I look around to see if Tiffany is here, but she is no where in sight. She doesn't sleep in like you when there is an exam to be taken care of.

“Sweetie, calm down. It's Saturday, nothing needs to be done on Saturday, remember?” She coos softly like any mother. I pause, and let realization sink in.

“Then why did you call so early?” I whine. No use to try to go to sleep now, since I'm already wide awake.

“First of all, ten is a little late, don't you think?” She scolds. I can picture in my head her wagging her finger at me as if I was a small child again.

“Well, not on a Saturday.” I grumble. I don't know where Tiffany is, but I know she needed my hair brush yesterday. Feeling only slight guilt for looking around her side of the dorm, I scan for the little square brush.

I hear Mama sigh the can-we-just-drop-it-please sigh. “Well, also, you don't want to waste your birthday snoozing around, do you?” She asks on a gentler note.

My hand stops midair just above my hair brush. “I'm twenty?” I ask in dismay. I find myself to a chair, and take the phone away from my ear to get a better look at it. Yep, it is July 2nd, 2012.

I'm twenty years old. I say to myself. I can't believe it. I'm really that old and in my twenties. Shanda would too...

I concentrate on Mom's words, or try to. I don't want this birthday to be like the other ones. I don't want to think of Shanda.

“Yes, dear, you're twenty years old. I can't believe that you are in college and twenty! Before I know it, Diane will be twenty and in college.” She sighs sadly, but I hear pride in her voice too.

“Or she could end up like Shanda.” I mutter glumly.

“Jenna Bree Simpson, don't talk like that!”

“Well, she could!” I argue. “Today's her birthday too, Mom. Or it was, I guess I should say.”

“This is her fourth year in heaven with Jesus, sweetie. She is having a marvelous birthday right now. “

“ Yeah, okay.” I mumble. I know it is selfish, but Shanda Marie Thanes was not only my friend whom I shared my birthday with, but she was my best friend. Almost like a twin sister. No, scratch that, she was my sister. Until that night.

“You know it is true.”

“Yeah, I do.” I admit. I walk my way to the brush so that I can brush my tangled hair out. “I just... miss her, that's all.”

“I know you do. Have you considered counseling?” She asks with a concerned laced voice.

“Mom, it didn't work then, and it won't work now.” I huff stubbornly. When I was seventeen, Mom convinced me to go to a teen-grief counselor. Believe me, I tried to participate, but I just couldn't get myself into it.

“Well, you're older now, and maybe more open to it. It helped me when Ron died.” She says softly. I never met my uncle since he died when my mother was fifteen. Her older brother was out rock climbing one day with his buddies, and he slipped. He died before the ambulance could get him to the hospital.

“Maybe, but just because it worked on you doesn't mean it will work on me.” I toss my brush on my bed, and start looking for an outfit today. Not really going out, I just want to be alone today. But hey, I might get a visit and I don't want to look like a mess. Even if I am one.

“I'm not saying that it will!” She says defensively. “I'm just saying that it might help.”

“But it won't!” I yell, then bite my lip. I shouldn't yell at her like that, she is my mother! She is only trying to help. “I'm sorry, Mom. I really am... Can we just drop it? Please? That can be my birthday present.” I encourage.

She sighs, and I hear the phone move with her nod. “Agreed. But Daddy and I already sent you a gift. Oh, I wish I could be there with you.” She complains.

I smile, both at the change of the subject and the love in her voice. “Oh? What is it?” I ask. I put the phone on speaker and set it on my dresser. I take some flared jeans and replace my pajama sweats with it.

“Now why would I ruin the surprise for you?” She scolds playfully, containing her laugh rather well.”

“Because, my loving mother, you know how much I hate surprises.” I say.  After putting on a purple T-shirt that has silver roses dancing on the front, I check myself out in the mirror.  I wonder how I should wear my hair.

“Diane is involved too, and you know how angry she would be if I let a peep out.” I consider my younger sister. That fourteen year old would go crazy if Mom let it slip.

“Fine, that is a good reason.” I huff. “Can you at least give me a hint?” I plead.

“Well, maybe just a small -”

“MOM!” I hear in the background. That makes me burst laughing. “Don't tell her a THING! She will know when she gets it!” She sings out.

“Tell her she is just doing this to torture me.” I tell mom in between laughs.

Mom repeats what she I said, and then I hear Diane's musical laugh. “Well, duh! That is what I was born to do!”

I chuckle at the girl, and then hear a beep. I walk over to my phone, and check on it. “Hey, girls, I love you and all, but I gotta go. Later!” I call.

“Happy birthday! Love you!” They say just before I switch lines. It automatically jumps off speaker, so I just press it to my ear.

“Hello?” I ask.   Holding it to my chin, I search through my messy drawers for a necklace. I find it hilarious how Tiffany is a neat freak while I'm a slob.

“Jenna, are you coming to work?” A man asks with frustration.

“Oh, snap! I'm sorry, sir, I'm on my way!.” I quickly get on some high heals sandals, and run out the door. “Snap!” I say again, and quickly stop the door before it locks me out. I don't want to repeat what happened last time when I left my keys in the dorm and had to wait on Tiffany.

“Jen, is everything all right?” Mr. Nelson asks in a bored tone.

“Yes, sir! Everything is fine! Just almost left my keys in my room, that's all.” I hurriedly search for the keys. Hiding away from me under a magazine is my keys, which I quickly snatch up. Once they are safely put away in my pocket, I run outside and jump in my car.

“Well, very well. See you soon, Jenna. Don't kill yourself speeding, now.”

“Wouldn't dream of it, sir.” I say in monotone. That is what ended Shanda's life, so why end mine in the same way? It would be ironic, though. She died on a Saturday in an accident while some stupid boys were pulling stunts with their truck and she was speeding to get home. If only that corner wasn't so sharp.

I hear the line go dead, and I toss the phone to the passenger side. Before long, I'm headed towards work.  Maybe, just maybe, this will get my mind off Shanda.