May Shrek Free You from Your Sins.

| Shrek is Love |

"Welcome.
Shrek is pleased that you made the decision to erase your unholy actions."
Here, take an Onion before we begin.

You receive the Onion from the Lord Shrek.
As it is placed into your hands, the Onion emits an aura.
It would glow an elegant light green tone.
Oh, the smell.
The aroma it produced was magnificent.
Musty armpits and sourness.

You sat there in awe with the Onion in hand.
Lord Shrek grins, "It seems that you are enjoying Lord Shrek's Sacred Onion...
We must continue into the next step."
The Lord Shrek sat down onto his dark green mat.

He brought his large, green calloused hands up forming them into a refined pray.
"Please take a seat." Lord Shrek delicately stated.
You look down and realize that you'd been standing on another one of Lord Shrek's mats.

In your mind, you scolded yourself.
'Jeez! You fucking idiot, how could you get your disgusting feet on Lord Shrek's mat?!!
He's going to be pissed!!!'

Blushing in mere embarrassment, you look up at Lord Shrek to apologize.
"It is fine young one, for I am not bothered."
You briefly nod and sit on the mat mimicking the pose Lord Shrek was in.

"Now.
I want you to repeat this Holy verse after me. Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life."
These words echo in your brain.

"S-Shrek is Love... Shrek is Life!"
You shout ecstatically.
Lord Shrek slowly opens his stunningly crusty eyes.

"We may now begin our Shrek Study."

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Thank you for attending Shrek's Holy session.
Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life.