To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)

✆ 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝙲𝚊𝚔𝚎 ✆

You have horrible ideas

Then don't bring anything
Just show up like you were meant to come

Nothing could possibly go wrong with that logic

Hey! Don't come at me like that
You've done a lot of stupid shit
This wouldn't even make the top 100

Why do you bully me

I do it out of love
Also, I like making people suffer

Isn't that nice

Do you think my parents would be mad if I take one of their unopened wine bottles and give it to the kid's parents as a peace offering?

I don't know

I'm going to give them some wine
It sounds like they might need it

Because an 18 year old crashing your son's party while holding a bottle of wine as a peace offering is not weird at all

I think they'll like it
I was going to give the kids some stickers but I can't find any
A post-it note that has a cursed drawing on it and says big boi would work fine instead, right?

What is the picture?

Shrek wearing a bikini

Oh god

It's the only thing I have!

It's perfect
You should stick it on his head

Genius!
Did you decide if you wanted to bring anything

I'm bringing my charming personality

Yikes

Hey!

Is your suit hot?

No. It has a cooling system built in

Wicked
You should put like some clothes over it then
I think it would be fun
It would make up for your lack of gifts

You're hardly bringing anything

I am bringing wine and my work of art!

I have a Hawaiian shirt with cartoon sharks and submarines on it
I can stop at my apartment and grab that

That sounds good
Didn't Harley give that to you?

He found it on Amazon at like 2 am one night and had it shipped to me
He didn't remember buying it until I brought it up

Nice
Don't button it up
Also wear a bucket hat if you have one
It'll really pull the look together

Oh god
Fashion designers better look out because I'm about to change the game for them

New York fashion week will have some competition

I'm heading towards your neighborhood now
People are looking at me weird
I think they like the look

Spider-Man wearing an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and a bucket hat swinging through New York is definitely a sight

I can't believe you convinced me to crash a kid's birthday party

Well, I'm hungry so hurry up
I want my free food

I'll text you when I get there

Good!
See you then, Spandex-Boy

ᴇɴᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ

✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔       Regular- (y/n)       ╗
╚ Bold- tony & peter ╝

Tony
What the actual [sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs ᴄᴇɴsᴏʀ]
Why are Spider-Man and "Thor's adopter daughter" (aka the 2 of you) trending for crashing some kid's 10th birthday party
sᴇᴇɴ 𝟹:𝟻𝟸 ᴘᴍ