To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)

✆ 𝙱𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚕 ✆

✆ ᏟᎪᏞᏞ ✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
╚ Bold- mj ╝

Did you know that when a frog throws up, they vomit their entire stomach out and use their forearms to dig out their stomach's contents

Why the hell would I want to know that?
Why the hell do you know that?
Why the hell did you think it was necessary to start a conversation like that?

I got bored

Ok, that's fair
You know how I'm totally not obsessed with Spider-Man?

That's a lie and you know it
You literally run an incorrect quotes Twitter account for Spider-Man

You don't have any proof that backs up your claim

Oh, but don't I?
I still have your text that says to go follow spooderman on Twitter
And the bio is Spider-Man quotes to fill your soul

That doesn't prove that I run it

But the fact that your main account is in the bio does

Damn it
But as I was saying, I want to get Spidey to meet up with me without having to ask him to come meet me

Hang onto a flag pole
Maybe then he'll come

That's dangerous though

Exactly, he'll come to your aid

Or the fire department will come instead

Good point
I'm all out of ideas then

You only had one

And?

You can't see me, but I'm the human incarnation of the whale face right now

That's my constant mood
So what are you gonna do?

I don't know
Maybe I'll hang onto a really high flag pole or I'll make a gigantic sign that calls him over
Or I get real fancy and have a plane write in the sky for him to come meet me

Better yet, do all three

I'm so poor though

Didn't Tony Stark hack into your phone?
Use that as blackmail

True
I'll post it on Twitter so the whole world can see and then he'll be forced to do my bidding

I have taught you well

Did you?

Don't question me
Let me have this moment

Whatever
Well, gotta go blackmail the Tony Stark

See ya, loser

Later, loser

ᴇɴᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ

✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔ Regular- (y/n)   ╗
╚ Bold- tony ╝

TONY [sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs ᴄᴇɴsᴏʀ]ING STARK

What do you want

Why is the Steve Rogers censor still activated?

Younglings like you should not be saying such a harsh word

Fuk you, Stark

You're a minor and I'm married

Not what I meant 🙄
Would you be willing to spend a couple thousand so I can have a plane write in the sky

Depends. What's the situation

I have a message to send to someone

If it's Peter than I'll pay
If it's not Peter than I won't pay

Huh

The two of you would be a good couple, just saying

Huh

And there may or may not be a bet going on within the team that I want to win

But you're a billionaire??

Ok so

Nvm

So is it to get "Spider-Man's" attention

Maybe...

Cool. I'll pay then

I thought I was going to have to blackmail you or something. That was much easier than expected

Thank you, Tony!
Oh, you're welcome, (y/n)!

Thank you, Toe Knee

Why do I even talk to you?

I've been wondering that for a while now
Like why am I still in a group chat with the freakin Avengers?!

You've wormed your way into many of their hearts, plus you and Peter texting is great entertainment

I'm just that outstanding

You're a menace
Well I just payed for the plane. You should be getting a call soon

:)

Admit your undying love to him and start dating so I can win this bet
Don't let me down, (l/n)

Who else is betting that we'll get together?

I'm not allowed to say. You have to figure that out yourself
This conversation never happened

Whatever you say, Toe Knee
Whatever you say

Fine, I'll pay you some hush money

I take $500

Deal

Yay money!