Cigarettes

[TW] Regret and Guilt

"Please, Bora...,"

Silence.

"Bora?"

The bloody woman slid from her arms as Siyeon's breath hitched. Panic startled to settle in, she frantically looked around for an ambulance. Only to see countless people recording the scene, which made Siyeon's blood boil.

"WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS THE FUCKING AMBULANCE?!"

She screamed. She cursed at the people, she tightly clung on to Bora's body, gritting her teeth hard as she let out one painful, heart-breaking scream.

~~~

Yoohyeon dropped Phil over to Handong's place before returning to the hospital where Siyeon refused to leave Bora.

"Hey," Yoohyeon called as she stared at her lover.

Siyeon was sitting down on one of the lobby chairs with her head down, her hands scratching each other as she waited.

"It's all my fault," She weakly whispered,"I told her to go die,"

"Siyeon, your emotions just got the better of you," Yoohyeon responded, sitting beside the grief-stricken woman,"Come with me,"

"I'm not leaving,"

"I think you would like to hear some things about unnie,"

Siyeon sighed as she followed. Yoohyeon drove to Minji's apartment and quickly parked the car upon arrival. Yoohyeon took out her phone and dialed Minji's number. She waited until the older picked up.

"I'm right outside with Siyeon,"

"Coming,"

Yoohyeon hung up as she stood beside Siyeon, taking the wolf's hand in hers as the latter began to choke back sobs.

The front door swung open, revealing a worried Minji. Her eyes immediately darted to the woman beside Yoohyeon.

"I wasn't wrong," Minji sighed,"You really are her, Siyeon,"

The wolf's eyes met Minji's. And she opened her mouth to speak, looking at Yoohyeon.

"How- Minji?" Siyeon questioned, confused.

"Come in,"

The two stepped inside the house as Yoohyeon gently closed the door. Minji made her way to her session room, Yoohyeon and Siyeon following suit.

"Minji," Siyeon began,"How did you-,"

"Before anything else, take a seat,"

Siyeon obliged, her eyebrows furrowed as Yoohyeon gave her a reassuring smile.

"She knows everything," Yoohyeon stated,"Actually I had a plan to bring you here,"

"But that happened," She added, looking at Minji,"Unnie got run over, it was bad,"

Minji's eyes widened and she trembled, she then cleared her throat and composed herself. Remaining professional in the presence of her clients.

"Minji was my therapist," Siyeon stated in a faint whisper,"It used to be her mom, but something came up,"

Minji nodded then proceeded to set her spectacles down the desk, she then took a deep breath. Her gaze landed on Siyeon's chocolate orbs as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I am Bora's therapist," Minji sighed,"The person you saw her hugging that day, it was me,"

Siyeon jolted up,"T-then you were seeing her even though you knew that I have a trauma of-,"

"We have a relationship of therapist and client. Nothing more," Minji explained,"She was happy that day that she finally got to lift off some weight from her chest,"

"She was having problems?" Siyeon shook her head,"Why didn't she tell me anything then?"

"Because YOU were the problem, Siyeon," Minji bluntly replied.

Siyeon froze on her seat. Her eyes glued to the therapist, several questions swirling throughout her head as she took in what Minji had just said.

"Use your head and think. Ask yourself what you did," Minji ordered before leaning back on her seat, letting out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

Siyeon sat across, her eyes roaming around the desk as her pink lips slowly curved into a frown.

"That can't be," Siyeon shook her head,"You're lying...,"

"Would a therapist lie, Siyeon?" Minji raised her brow,"Would I lie?"

She then proceeded to take another folder from her drawer, placing it in front of the doubtful woman.

"Bora's records," Minji stated,"Find out for yourself,"

Siyeon quickly took the folder and skimmed through the pages. Her eyes quickly reading the words as her stomach tightened. Guilt eneveloped her as she covered her mouth.

Bora wasn't lying.

"I pushed her away because I thought she was cheating," Siyeon sobbed,"But she wasn't,"

Minji placed a cap on the desk,"This is the cap the other person was wearing, right?"

Siyeon frantically nodded in response.

"It's mine," Minji said, wearing the cap,"Now, do you still refuse to believe the truth?"

"I'm stupid,"

Siyeon sobbed as she clenched her fists. She felt an intense amount of regret eat her up as she remembered every single sacrifice Bora had made for her.

She remembered how Bora would always make sure to have breakfast ready when she wakes up.

She remembered how Bora would always clean her shoes every weekend.

She remembered how Bora would always iron her work clothes.

She remembered how Bora always thought in advance and prepared for almost everything.

She remembered how Bora taught Phil all the basic words and wisdom.

She remembered how Bora sacrificed her dream job for their family.

Siyeon mentally cursed herself for everything she had done. She was an ass to the person who sacrificed almost everything just to make her life the best life she could have. She chose to believe what she saw instead of hearing the other woman out.

She cursed her trauma. She cursed herself. She cursed time. She cursed everything. She hated herself. She wondered what Phil was feeling. She swore to give him the best childhood yet she chose the path her own parents carved for her when she was a kid.

She was just repeating what her parents did to her.

She mentally apologized to the boy, then to Bora, to Yoohyeon, and then to herself. She gave Bora anxiety with her constant, unhealthy smoking and she chose to harshly shut her pleas down.

She never wanted to get a divorce.

She never wanted to leave Bora.

To her, Bora was her soulmate, the perfect wife, the perfect person, and the perfect best friend.

But she let her emotions control her. She couldn't believe that Bora had "cheated" on her. She was broken, lost and miserable.

And because of that, she pushed her pillar away.

She thought that all was well after she met Yoohyeon, but the woman just didn't bring the same aura as Bora.

Siyeon sighed, a light smile on her face as she finally realized what was up.

"Well?" Minji asked in a calm, motherly tone as she tilted her head.

"I know what to do," Siyeon replied with her head down, the light smile not leaving her face.

Siyeon knew what was up, and she didn't deny it. She agreed with it. Because it was true. It was very well true.

That Siyeon's mind resented Bora, but her heart had always remained with her.