purpose

[season 1] -instict-

I stared at her receding figure. What was that supposed to mean? If the voice wasn't causing me to kill others, did that mean I was killing them of my own free will? That still doesn't answer anything about the voice itself. What was my life before the tower? Why was my only survival instinct to kill others? I stood frustrated by myself. One question was answered, and about 5 more arrived.

I checked the time and realized it was already 8:55am. I began walking to class again.

***

By 12:00 the instructor finally finished teaching the basics and we went to eat lunch. I quickly finished my food and made it back to the classroom, hoping that no one was there so I could nap.

***

"Alright, now that you all know a few basic concepts let's see you use them in battle. Today you'll be paired up to fight. To win, you just have to knock out your opponent or render them unable to fight. That being said, you will have a time limit. If each of you can still fight by the time it's over, you will both get half credit." The instructor explained.

She began pairing us up, but all I could think of was what Hwaryun told me before. Killing people out of pure instict? What happened for me to have to have done that? I don't want to kill someone every time I fight with them.

"(Y/n) and Deod." The instructor called out.

I looked to see who it was, and recognized him immediately. He was the one eyed guy who fought against Hatz during the crown game. I was only able to steal a glance during that time, but I knew those wings weren't for show.

"Alright everyone, let's get going." The instructor said.

Not a second passed before we were shrouded in a white light and taken to an open field.

"We'll go one by one. The time limit is 40 minutes. First pair, (r/n) and (r/n)!"

As more and more pairs fought, I paid attention to each person's strengths and weaknesses in case I ever came into conflict with them later.

Soon enough, it was my turn to go. Deod and I stepped onto the field, ready to fight.

"No matter how quick you are, my sword will slash through." He said.

"We'll see about that." I replied smugly, though I was definitely nervous.

I knew that I could put up a good fight, the problem was trying not to kill him.

"Ready, go!"

He made the first move, rushing in and swinging his sword directly in front of me. I dodged to the right and ran behind him. After remembering his last battle with Hatz, I decided that his wings would be the most troublesome. As soon as I was behind him, he tried to fly, but I gripped onto the base of his wings. He flapped his wings to escape with me still holding on, but it was no use.

I dug my thumb into the flesh of the base and used that to tear out both wings. He screamed and immediately swung his sword again, which I dodged. I backed up a few yards and saw that the pain and loss of blood caused him to lose focus. The sight of it reminded me of Hwaryun's words.

---

'That voice is not what's causing you to kill others.'

---

My heart rate sped up for a few seconds, and I lost sight of what to do. Even though he was rushing towards me with his sword, I stayed still in place. Every muscle in my body wanted to rip his head off, smash it in, tear out his eye, or do much worse. Even though the order wasn't there, the want to kill was still inside of me.

When Deod's sword was about to pierce through my stomach, I gripped the sharp blade with both hands, stopping it from going any further. The swordsman tried to push the sword through my hands, but I just strengthened my grip, in turn deepening the wound in my hands.

My breathing was all over the place and I stared at the blood that continued to seep into the floor. I quickly let go of the sword and ducked under it. This made him lose focus for a second, giving me the chance to run forward. I did my best to make a fist with my bloody hands, and punched him right under his chest, where his solar plexus would be located.

The air was knocked out of him and he let go of his sword. I used this moment to give him a punch from the side of his face.

I quickly backed off just in case my attack didn't work, but when I looked at him again, his body lay on the floor, unmoving.

"The winner is (l/n) (y/n)!" The instructor shouted, though most of the regulars were getting treatment in hospital rooms.

I took a look at my hands again, this time stained crimson with my blood instead of someone else's. Had I been able to use my full strength, my punch would have cracked his skull.

In a few seconds I was ushered to a nurse to bandage up my hands.

I looked back at the field, or more specifically, back to the wings that had been discarded onto the field. They already stopped writhing around, leaving them completely lifeless as though they were made out of stone. Even though we were told we could use any means necessary to win, I couldn't help but feel a sense of regret, ripping out my opponent's wings. I would have to give a proper apology when he woke up.

***