Found In the Past

7

Scorpius's POV:

"Plus, I have no idea how to 'snog'..." I shudder jokingly, trying not to imagine it in my mind's eye. I don't quite know why people think it's romantic to push their mouths together, but it looks nice on the telly. I don't know how to do it either. Do you just...kiss them. Will I mess up? I wonder nervously. Al shifts besides me and I look up from the book I was supposed to be reading. A spark has lit inside of his eyes and his lips slowly turn up into an adorable smile. Before I can ask what's going on, he leans forwards and kisses me.

Our lips meet and my eyes widen in shock as a jolt runs through me. Before I fully understand what I'm doing, I close my eyes and kiss him back. The instant I do, he pulls away sharply and I realize what just happened.

"Bloody hell," Al whispers, sitting up fully. He runs a hand through his hair, messing up his curls even more. I remain still, trying to process what just happened.

"Am I that awful at it?" I manage to ask with a small smile. I try to stay calm even though currently my heart is racing and I can hear the blood pounding in my ears.

"N-no, of course not," he tells me, blushing even redder than before. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. I guess it's easier to show than tell. Really I'm sorry," he rambles on, obviously freaking out.

"It's fine," I say hurriedly, my fingers wandering up to touch my lips. That actually happened. Something about the way he leaned in, and pressed his lips against mine... it was different than anything else I'd ever known. I was startlingly aware of the way his eyebrows lifted ever so slightly and how his hands were frozen in place. I kissed my best friend and it was...brilliant? What was happening?

"I should go," Al looks down at the floor and I see his eyes glass over with tears. The sight tugs at my heart and I sit up so I can take his hand in mine. I ignore the spark that races up my arm at the physical contact so I can focus on him.

"Don't. Please," I beg him. "Can't we at least, I dunno, talk about what just happened?" I request awkwardly. He still won't look at me, so I tap him shoulder impatiently. "Albus Severus Potter, come on," I tease, "If you love me you can tell me," my voice falters as heart skips a beat at the words. What if he does...?

"Scorp that's ridiculous!" Al pulls his hand away from me in a quick motion. "You're my best friend! I could never love you like that. That could NEVER happen," his defensive green eyes meet mine as I feel a piece of my heart break. I'm forced to look away so he can't see the pain in my eyes.

"Of course not," my voice turns cold as my protective mechanism against the loss. I stand up and walk away from his bed. I open the door to the bathroom and shoot him a glare. "Maybe don't kiss me next time if that's the case."

I stalk out of the room and shut the door behind me before I dare to slump to the floor in defeat. My best friend kissed me and rejected me within the same minute. Of course he did. My hands start to shake as confusion overwhelms me. Rose asked me out, and I had wanted to say yes. Albus kissed me, and I had liked it, no matter what he said after. Why was everything so weird now?

"Scorp?" I hear a knock at the door behind me but don't move. There's insufferable silence between us for a minute before I hear a sigh and listen to his footsteps walk away. Tears run down my face and I let them. My date with Rose is tomorrow, so maybe everything will clear up after that.

****

I walk out of the bathroom with my chin high, not sparing a glance at Albus. I sit down on the floor next to my bed and pull out a piece of parchment to write my weekly letter to Father on. The room is oddly quiet as I begin to write.

Father,

I hope everything is going well for you at home. I remember what you told me before I left everyday. The ones about being myself this year and ignoring the rumors and opinions around me. I miss getting to see you more often, even if it was only because of the Time Incident. Things aren't so great right now, but I'd prefer not to bother you. The good news is that I got asked out. Kind of. I know you're probably standing up in surprise right now, so please sit down before you read the next part. It's the Granger-Weasley girl you specifically told me not to date. Please don't send a howler! Remember, I love you.

Sincerely, your son,
Scorpius Malfoy.

I place my quill down and roll up the paper gently. I cast a glance at Albus, who still isn't looking at me. His shoulders are hunched over a book, but his eyes are glazed and he's not reading it. Worry for him pricks at my stomach, but I brush it off. I'm still mad about what he said, even if it's unreasonable to be upset at the bitter truth.

Since we're in the dungeon, there's no window that an owl can come through to deliver letters. Though, we do have other means of transportation. I place my note on a tray near the door and tap on the tile three times. A house elf should be on it's way to collect it now, so I place a coin down quickly out of gratitude, like my father taught me to do.

"I'm sorry," Albus breaks the silence suddenly. I stand up stiffly and spin on my heels to face him.

"For?" I ask, keeping any emotion out of my voice. I sound so much like my father when I do that it takes me aback.

"I shouldn't have kissed you. Or lashed out. I'm confused over a lot of things right now," Al says slowly, melting my heart with his earnest green eyes. "So I'm so very, very sorry. I don't want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me," I tell him gently, shooting him a small smile. I won't deny that the kiss didn't reinforce what I'm supposed to be thinking about, it just hurt me in a million different ways, but I can certainly forgive my best friend. "Plus, you're a rubbish kisser," I can't help but jab back.

"Am not!!" Albus flushes in embarrassment as I laugh.

"Are too," I complain, wrinkling my nose. There's no way I'm telling him how fantastic at it he actually is. That knowledge will stay with me to the day I die.

"Am not," he mutters, throwing a pillow at me. I cover my head and lunge for my wand.

"Accio pillow!" I cry out, a huge smile stretching across my face. The pillow flies right into my head, a self-earned point for my opponent. Apparently I'm not as good as that spell as I thought I was.

"You idiot," my best friend becomes immobilized with laughter as he bends over cackling. "Truce?" He manages to gasp out as I tackle him.

"Truce!" I declare, brushing myself off and helping him to stand. We stand face to face for a second, just panting and smiling at one another. For a brief second I want to kiss him again. Only if to just prove it was real before. But that weird feeling passes as soon as he looks away.

"We should get some sleep. You do have a date tomorrow," he comments, rubbing his arm.

"Yeah. I do..." I straighten my hair out and place my wand back into my robe pocket. We spend the rest of the night in comfortable silence and I don't tell my roommate what's really on my mind. I have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow. And it terrifies me.