Texting 10: Please Man, I'm Begging You. Be Nice To Caterpillars

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Connie: Surprise bitch!

Connie: Bedtime with a twist... It's morning!

(F/N): Fuck off

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(F/N): Do you want McDonalds or Subway?

Eren: What difference does it make? We're all going to die at some point

(F/N): I'll get you a milkshake

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(F/N): Sasha's an oven

Armin: She's pregnant?

(F/N): No. She roasts people

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(F/N): Guess who died of ligma

Eren: My mom died right in front of me

(F/N): Ligma balls lmao

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(F/N): Levi was like "Wait, stop, think"

(F/N): And I said "Fuck, That, Shit"

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(F/N): You're not so bad when you're unconscious

Jean: You're not so bad either when I'm unconscious

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(F/N): I do whatever the hell I like!

Armin: I'm telling Hanji

(F/N): wait no

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Levi: Don't die

(F/N): Don't tell me what to do

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(F/N): You ever just like ......

Connie: ...

Connie: Yeah. I feel that

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Armin: Squad Leader. I need your help

Hanji: What can I help with?

Armin: Captain Levi is attempting to murder (F/N) because he called a mop a 'wet broom'

Hanji: At that point, it's just natural selection

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(F/N): Buy me some chicken tendies

Jean: Why?

(F/N): Because I'm your friend and you'd be lost without me

Jean: If I buy chicken tendies I'm not sharing

(F/N): This is why your mom never had another child

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(F/N): I put the hot in photo

Connie: I thought you said potato lol

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Eren: What time does the 7 o'clock bus leave?

Eren: nvm. Jean told me

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(F/N): The only reason I'm still friends with Bertoldt is so I can steal his hoodies because the extra sleeve length lets me slap people better

Armin: I bet he loves having you around

(F/N): No he doesn't. No-one escapes the slap.

Armin: You're not his girlfriend. You can't steal his clothes

(F/N): You're right. His actually girlfriend should do it...

Armin: ...

Armin: That's just mean

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(F/N): I'm sick of waiters asking me if I'm done with my meal when my plates clear.

(F/N): I'm like "nah. Can I have the porcelain to go please?"

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Eren: How do I get people to stop kidnapping me?

(F/N): Put a little weight on

Eren: How?

(F/N): Ask Connie. Dudes gotten bigger and not in height

Connie: rUde

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Eren: What is the meaning of life?

(F/N): nachos idk

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(F/N): What's the raddest aircraft?

(F/N): The HELLAcopter

Jean: That joke was a little to plane for me

(F/N): You just had to ruin it, huh

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Levi: My counselling appointment is in 5 minutes

(F/N): Just remember to use your happy words

Levi: yay

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(F/N): Eren transformed without permission

Erwin: Okay

(F/N): Mikasa's threatening Levi

Erwin: Damn. Okay

(F/N): Armin's having a mental breakdown

Erwin: Anything else?

(F/N): ...Levi's bulk buying Windex

Erwin: Yare Yare Daze

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And somehow, I have managed to make 10 of these. Each chapter is, on average, a 1000 words long so that's 10,000 words of this shit.

I just wanna add how tired I am. I honestly thought I would thrive in quarantine. I thought I'd be a writing and exercise machine but now I don't even have the energy to open my eyes anymore. My friend text me asking how I was doing and I just sent back 'hmammmammm'.

I am getting back into writing so hopefully my EreMika book will be out soon. Maybe two or three weeks if I push myself.

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