Million Years Ago [H.S AU]

45

"HE hates me." I reason. "I don't want to bother him any more than I already do."

Harry kisses me on the lips, shaking his head in disproval. "Ridiculous. You're his mum. You could never bother him. He loves you."

It's my turn to pick up Alex from his therapy session today, even though I don't want to. Ever since his revelation a few weeks ago, I feel as if I've been walking on eggshells. I've completely given up on trying to force myself onto him. At this point, I feel like I'm just his maid more than anything. Aside from helping him with daily activities, we barely talk.

But I'm glad that I have someone like Harry to help me through it.

So, with appreciation, I give him one more kiss before leaving the house. Anxiously, I climb into my car and back out of the driveway, thinking of numerous ways that I can interact with Alex as I make my way down the street.

The drive to the counseling office goes by quicker to usual, due to me being lost in my thoughts. So when I make my way to Lensen's room, it's no shock that the session is already done and that Alex is patiently waiting for me with a lollipop in his hand.

"Where's daddy?" Alex asks, face dropping at the sight of my arrival.

"Making dinner."

"Oh."

"We're eating spaghetti and meatballs tonight. Doesn't that sound yummy?"

Alex doesn't say anything, simply nodding glumly as he stands to his feet. "Thanks for the blueberry lollipop Mister Lensen!"

Lensen grins at my son. "No problem, kiddo. See you next week, be good for your mom, okay?"

A barely audible grunt leaves Alex's mouth.

Lensen shakes his head, turning towards me. "Don't stress yourself out so much, Audrey. Take care of you." He gives me a stern look, almost authoritarian and fatherly, before reaching towards his candy stash and handing me a Hershey's bar. "And tell Harry I said hello."

I thank him for the candy, feeling relieved by his support before we make our way out of his building.

We get in the car and Alex mentions how thirsty his is, so I stop at a gas market for a few bottles of water before encouraging him to take a stroll with me in the park (totally Harry's idea). At first, Alex is reluctant, but he finally gives in.

"What did you and Lensen talk about today?" I ask, taking a sip of my water as I try not to overwhelm him with too many questions.

"Luke."

"Who's Lucas?"

"It's Luke, momma." He rolls his eyes, still in the midst of his grammar phase. "And he's my friend." A pause and then. "He's like me and Josh. His daddy is a ruiner and left him and his momma."

"Ruiner?" I gulp.

"Yes. Now Luke can only see his momma and daddy some of the times, like me and Josh. He has two houses too."

I blink in bewilderment, feeling dread beginning to gnaw at me. "Do you think I'm a ruiner?"

He doesn't say anything.

So I try again. "Do you, uh," I blink away the tears. "Do you feel like I left you?"

He takes a moment to think before replying, "No. not yet."

"Yet?"

"Grandma Anne always says I'm just like daddy. So if you left daddy then you'll probably leave me too. Maybe not now. But I'm just trying to be prepared, momma."