Giovanni Angst (Epithet Erased)

My Arms Hurt.

Work Text:

Giovanni hasn't been having the best of days today. Nothing specifically bad happened, only minor things. Stubbed his toe, clapped too hard, a joke hit too hard, you get the gist of what I'm saying here. The thing is, usually, these things would add up and he'd feel kind of bad at the end of the day. He'd groan into a pillow and fall asleep slowly. He'd have a nightmare due to his bad mood, and the next day he'd be fine. Though, no, that's not what is happening here. Throughout the whole day he's been feeling numb. His chest feels warm but not in the fun way. He can barely feel happy or sad- and he the only thing he can really pay attention to is pain. Everything else feels so dull, so empty, so useless.

Giovanni isn't always like this! I mean, there's always this little voice in his head, that suppressed voice just not caring. That suppressed voice just not reacting like the other thoughts in his head. Today, that voice was louder. It was hard to ignore today. Everything felt off today. He didn't show it, but he felt it. If he showed how he was feeling (or lack of feeling), then someone would be worried. Molly, Car Crash, Crusher, Bob- pretty much all of his minions could point it out. It's not like he didn't want to talk about it specifically, but he just couldn't think of why he felt like this. Honestly, it's not that hard to act like his normal self. He just needs to think of somewhat-witty lines and say them in an upbeat tone.

Come to think of it, what does he want? He doesn't want to eat, or sleep, or talk to anyone. He just wants to feel something. He's been talking to people all day and yet, he's not felt much. It's not like he didn't feel- he did! The warm feeling in his chest never left, though. It doesn't hurt. It just feels wrong.

Maybe that's enough thinking about it for now. If he's just going to (mentally) complain, then he should try doing something about this. He just. Needs to figure out how to do that. Okay, think, Giovanni. What made you feel today?

Alright, let's see... He puts a hand to his chin, what stood out to him most today? Well, he bumped his head on a low ceiling. He also got shot by a few pea shooters by accident. Then later he got burnt by the oven. Hm. Alright, so, pain makes him feel things! That sounds like a good hint to what he should do. I mean, it's not like he's not done this before. He even has his own Super Cool Blade for days like these. (It's a sharpener blade) He just needs to leave his bed first. It's so comfy though! I'll tell you what, he'll leave the bed once he feels the slightest bit uncomfortable. That seems like a good idea. Now he just has to wait.

Aaand there it is, that didn't take long at all! The slightly less soft part of his pillow really comes to play sometimes. Now being one of the times. He gets up and opens his closet doors. It's somewhere in here... Ah! Right! The shoe box. Don't worry, it's very sanitary, he cleaned it before putting blades in it beforehand! A true mastermind- preparing ahead of time! No one wants tetanus, especially not Giovanni.

He opens up the box and picks up the blade. The warm feeling in his chest rises. He doesn't know if he wants to do this- but it's not like he doesn't want to do this. He just doesn't know where to cut, right? That's it. That's the only problem. Yeup!

He slices on his arm- he slices at least six times on the same spot. He should keep doing it- but he pauses. And now blood's forming. Now he can't pinpoint where the cut itself was, "Fuck." He mumbles under his breathe. Well, the stinging is pretty fun. You know, the difference between stubbing your toe and cutting your arms is that you're expecting to cut your arm, but the pain from stubbing your toe is unexpected! See? He is a completely reasonable evil-doer, yes he is. He cuts once more on his arm, slicing again and again on the same spot, this time slicing at least seven times! What an upgrade!