THE BROKEN STRINGS (ON-GOING)

BROKEN STRINGS 03

"He raped her bestfriend. "

"He raped her bestfriend. "

"He raped her bestfriend. "

"He raped her bestfriend. "

He... Raped... Her bestfriend...

Hindi ko na alam kung ilang beses pang umulit-umulit sa isipan ko ang katagang yun. Na parang yun lang talaga ang naintindihan ko sa sinabi niya.

I clenched my fist so hard that I can feel my nails digging at my palm. Walang pakialam kung masugat man yun. I tried to keep my eyes shut, and suddenly gasping for air.

I thought I moved on. I thought hearing those words won't affect me anymore. But I was wrong. Dahil ang marinig lang yun...ay parang binabalik ako sa bangungungot na pilit kong kinakalimutan.

That day. That person. The things he did. I can't help but to shiver from fear.

Gusto kong matawa sa sarili. Ang lakas ng loob kong sabihin kay Kuya Ashton na kalimutan na lang yun.. Pero eto ako't nanginginig sa takot marinig lang ang salitang yun.

'It's been a year for God's sake! Calm down! '

But I can't.

Napapitlag na lang ako at agad napamulat ng mata ng maramdaman kong may kamay na humawak sa kamay kong mahigpit na nakakuyom.

"Hey.. Are you okay? " Gee asked. w
Worry was written in her face.

Gusto kong sabihing hindi. Gusto kong umiyak. Gusto kong sabihin lahat sa kanya kahit na nagkakilala pa lang kami kanina. But I know I can't. So I just nod and forced a smile.

Mariin niya pa muna akong tiningnan bago siya nagsimulang magkwento tungkol sa childhood memories niya. Maybe she can sense that I lied that's why she's trying to change the atmosphere between us.

———

Natapos ang buong maghapon ko na halos lutang ako sa klase. Maswerte na lang ako dahil puro introduction pa lang naman ang ginawa dahil first day of classes. Dahil kung formal class yun...paniguradong napagalitan na ako nung prof.

I sighed. Just how many times did I just sighed this day? Parang yun na lang ata ang kaya kong gawin. I sighed again.

Pasalampak na lang akong humiga sa kama matapos kong makauwi sa apartment.

I was staring at the ceiling when I remembered the things Gee said about the guy at the canteen.

"Is that why his eyes are like that? " I can't help but to asked myself. I was just like that for about a minute before I decided to call my brothers.

Una nilang tinanong kung kumusta ang unang araw ko sa bago kong school matapos nilang sagutin ang tawag. Kaya kwinento ko na lang din sa kanila kung ano ang nangyare maliban sa pagiging lutang ko sa klase at sa dahilan nun. Dahil paniguradong kapag nalaman nila yun ay hindi sila magdadalawang-isip na puntahan ako dito.

And for another reason: I don't want to burden anyone again.

***

aesthetic_is_me