THE BROKEN STRINGS (ON-GOING)

BROKEN STRINGS 01

"Are you really sure about this Viann?" tanong niya sakin. I can actually hear the concern in his voice. 
He's actually talking about me, who's going to live alone in this new apartment. And this is going to be my first time living away from them. That's why I know why he's being like this.

Nakangiti ko siyang nilingon. "Kuya Ashton..I'm going to be fine. No need to worry okay?"

"Alam mong hindi namin kayang pigilan na wag mag-alala sayo Viann" he sighed. "Pano kung may mangyareng ganun naman ulit? We're not going to be here to help you."

I unconsciously bit the inside of my cheek. I know where he's coming from. Dahil kahit ako ay hindi ko maiwasang isipin yun.  "I'm not going to let anything happen to me again. I promised. " Tsaka ko sya nginitian. "Besides it was already a year ago. Kalimutan na lang natin yun Kuya Ashton. "

Nakita ko kung panong nagsalubong ang dalawang kilay niya sa inis dahil sa sinabi ko.

"What?! " angil niya pa sakin. "How can you think something like that Viann?! We can't just forget about it, alam mo yun!"

"Then what do you want me to do Kuya Ashton?" tanong ko sa kanya. "Nangyare na yun at wala naman na tayong magagawa tungkol dun. I don't want to live my life hating someone because of what he did. So please?" Tsaka ko siya nginitian na parang nagsusumamo.

Nagpakawala siya ng malalim na buntong-hininga tsaka kinagat ang pang-ilalaim na labi. Senyales na hindi niya gusto ang kung anong sinabi ko.

Naglakad ako palapit sa kanya tsaka ko siya niyakap. "Please Kuya Ashton. Hahanap na lang ako ng pwede kong maging roommate para may kasama ako dito sa apartment okay?" saad ko tsaka hinigpitan ang yakap sa kanya. I felt him let out another sigh before hugging me back.

"Okay. " he kissed my forehead. "Just be safe okay? Tawagan mo kami araw-araw. " tumango na lang ako sa kanya.  "I'll better go now." I just nod at him again and whispered to be safe going home. He kissed my forehead for the last time as he bid me goodbye. Kinawayan ko pa sya bago siya tuluyang lumabas ng apartment.

***

After being in the apartment for almost 2 hours doing nothing ay napagdesisyunan ko na lang na maglakad-lakad sa labas.

'To be familiar to the new environment I guess?'

Tsaka quarter to 6 pm pa lang naman nung tingnan ko yung oras sa relo ko.
Habang naglalakad ay hindi ko maiwasang hindi mapatingin sa mga batang masasayang naglalaro sa kung saan-saan. Their laugh was visible that it made me wish to be a child again. Para kasing ansarap maging bata ulit.

Hindi rin nakalagpas sa paningin ko ang ibang mga tao rito. There are people who's just taking a walk like me. There are some who's riding a bicycle. Hindi ko na lang naiwasang mapangiti.

'They all look happy and contented. '

Naging masyado akong abala sa pagtingin-tingin sa paligid kaya hindi ko napansin na may makakasalubong pala ako kaya nagkabanggaan kami.

"Oh God I'm sorry! " mabilis kong sambit tsaka kinuha ang isang cellphone sa lapag--na alam kong kanya dahil iniwan ko yung sakin sa apartment--bago ko yun inabot sa kanya nang hindi ito nililingon.

I felt a large hand covered mine, making me to look at the person who's in front of me. And I was greeted first by a pair of eyes,  a cold and dangerous one. But there's something else that's visible in his eyes. Hurt? Pain?

Pakiramdam ko ay pati ako nakaramdam ng sakit sa pamamagitan lamang ng pagtingin sa mga mata niya. And that's when I feel the need to hug him--which I actually did without my other self knowing. Nalaman ko na lang na niyayakap ko na siya nang naramdaman ko ang pagkabigla niya.
"The fuck you're doing woman?! " sigaw niya sa mismong harap ko matapos niya akong ilayo sa kanya.

"I-I'm sorry. I d-didn't mean to do that. Akala ko kasi k-kailangan mo ng yakap. " paliwanag ko habang pilit na nilalabanan ang galit na titig ng mga mata niya.

'Just what happened to him that it made his eyes to be like that cold and dangerous ? '

"I don't fucking need it?! Shit!" sigaw niya ulit sakin bago siya naglakad paalis. I even heard him utter "The fuck?! "  nung nilagpasan niya ako.

'Nagalit ba siya sakin? I'm just trying to help. '

"But maybe he doesn't need one." saad ko na lang sa sarili ko habang tinitingnan ang daan na dinaanan niya.

***

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