Have Faith In Me (Sequal to IHBNY and Trust) (Kellic)

16

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I awoke the next morning before Vic did. When I sat up a little and looked around the room I saw that all the pills were gone from the ground, meaning Vic hadn't gone asleep when I had. I hope I didn't have him up and worrying about me for too long. Once again I've been this emotional wreck that I always am, and Vic has been the strong one to pick up the pieces. I will forever be grateful for that. Without him I probably wouldn't be alive, no, I was sure that I wouldn't be alive.

"Hm, hey," Vic's tired voice brought my attention back to him. He sat up and put his arm around my waist, pulling me into a hug.

"Hi, I'm sorry for scaring you last night," I said. He pulled back a little and looked at me.

"It's okay. Are you alright now?" he asked. I thought about it and I just nodded slowly. Compared to last night I felt a lot better.

"Yeah....um,are you....are you mad at me for, you know, using again. I mean it was just one pill, but still...." I trailed off. I knew he'd be disappointed in me. He tried so hard to get me sober and keep me that way and now I just ruined everything.

"No, I'm not mad. I've been through this with Beau before so I know how to deal with it," he said.

"Huh, deal with it," I scoffed, feeling offended, "I'm sorry you have to deal with me," I said a bit bitterly.

"No, no I didn't mean it like that. That was a poor choice of words. I just meant I know what it's like to be around someone who's an addict and I understand that they relapse all the time, so I'm not mad because I know you can't help it," he explained, "But, I'm proud of you for stopping yourself."

"Yeah, I hate what drugs do to me. It was really scary last night, Vic. I really thought I was going to...." I trailed off, not wanting to think about it.

"Hey, you didn't though, and that's what counts. But next time you feel like relapsing again I need you to call me, Jenna, Tony, whoever. You need to not be alone when you feel like that, please," he pleaded with me and I nodded. I felt really bad. I should have called him, but my mind was only focused on trying to take the pain away.

"Now, tell me what happened yesterday. When I left you were fine, so what happened?" he asked. I looked at the laptop which was still sitting on the end of the bed, then looked at Vic. He deserved an explanation but I knew he'd flip out on me.

"If I tell you, do you promise to be calm?" I asked. He sighed and looked unsure.

"You know I can't promise that," he said.

"I just don't want you freaking out and, I don't know....going after people. I don't want you to get in trouble," I said.

"Who would I go after?" he asked. I hesitated before I answered. The whole Craig thing was such a touchy topic to bring up.

"Um, Craig," I said softly and anger flashed in his eyes.

"What has he done now? I will fucking slaughter him," he said through gritted teeth. I shook my head quickly and rested my hand over his to try and calm him down.

"Nothing, nothing recently. I just...." I stopped and took a deep breath before telling him what happened yesterday, "Yesterday while I was at my dad's house I found his old laptop and when I got home I decided to go through it so I could delete things so I could give the laptop away....but then I found a video...."

"A video? Of what?" he asked. I closed my eyes but quickly opened them when I saw flashes of the video enter my mind.

"It was....um, my dad was filming....and he, uh....was outside of Craig's room when he um...." I couldn't continue talking. I couldn't say it.

"Shit, Kellin," Vic sighed and pulled me into another hug. I held him back and tried to stop myself from getting upset.

"He was there," I said calmly, "He was there and he didn't do anything to stop it, and that's what made me upset. Not because of what happened with Craig, but because someone, my own father, was there and he didn't care enough about me to stop it."

"I'm so sorry, Kellin," Vic whispered. I just nodded slowly and stayed there in his arms for a while, neither of us speaking. I was glad that he stayed calm. After all it wasn't like he could go and kill my day.

"Why was your father filming?" Vic asked the million dollar question. I shrugged as I pulled out of the hug.

"I have no idea. Because he's a sick fuck," I said.

"I know, but how did he even know you were there that night?" he asked. I shook my head, not having an answer.

"I have no idea. Maybe he had been watching me. I don't know. I don't want to think about it," I said. Vic looked calm during this, like he was just trying to be here for me, like the perfect boyfriend he had always been.

"Show me the video," he said. I shook my head quickly.

"No, there's no way I'm letting you watch it. You don't have to see that happening, you just....you don't . Please Vic," I said quickly.

"I don't want to watch it, not all of it, I just want to see if the video is viable," he said.

"Viable? For what?" I asked.

"So we can take it to the police and get Craig arrested," he said. I shook my head quickly.

"No, no, I don't want to do that. Please don't make me do that," I said quickly and in a panic. Vic frowned at me, looking confused.

"Why not? We can finally put him behind bars," he said, sounding just as confused as he looked.

"Because that means I'd have to show people what happened. I don't want people seeing that, Vic. People don't make me show them," I said. His face softened a little but he still looked like he wanted to argue.

"He can't get away with this. I know it'll be diffic-"

"Difficult!?" I interrupted him. "It won't just be difficult. What if Craig pleads not guilty? He could claim that we were both really drunk and that I was into it. That means we'd have to go to count and show the video to a judge and jury and I just, I can't keep reliving it. And then what happens if he's found not guilty, or what happens when he eventually gets out of jail? He'll come after me or you and we don't need that. I just want to be normal and I can't if I have to go through this and I can't live in fear of Craig, and I just, I can't, I-"

"Stop, Kellin, breath," he said, interrupting my endless rambling. I stopped talking and took a deep breath.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," he said calmly. I nodded slowly, glad that he had accepted what I wanted.

"Okay, thank you," I said.

He smiled lightly and pulled me in for another hug. We spent the rest of the day together, him just making sure that I was okay and for the most part, I was. It was just a difficult night, but Vic being here for me helped a lot, and him being calm about the situation helped a lot too. He truly was perfect.