sᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ 〢 ᴄʜᴀᴇ ʜʏᴜɴɢᴡᴏɴ 〢

T W E N T Y

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Jung Miyoung

It seemed that opening up to me helped Hyungwon a lot. His nightmares became much less frequent and less intense

"My psychiatrist said that I'm improving" he says

We are seated on a couch at my house, watching a documentary about fishes

"Yes! Finally. If your recover fully then you can compete with me again in next semester!"

Hyungwon snorted

"I can beat you even now, loser"

"You wanna go?"

In one swift move, Hyungwon had me pinned down against the couch, looming over me. He was so close I was worried that he could hear my heartbeat pounding

"Yeah" he whispered

We stared at each other for a few seconds before I regained my senses and pushed him off

"What was that?" I heard him mutter to himself

I sat in silent horror as Eunmi's words about our sexual tension resonated through my mind. Was this what she was talking about?

"No!" I blurted, standing up

"What the heck?" Hyungwon questioned

"Y-You have to go"

"Uh-"

"Now!"

"Okay! Jeez, you crazy"

He hastily gathered his personal items and shut the door behind him. I collapsed on the couch. No no. I could not be thinking these thoughts. I could not be a person with a hopeless crush

"No! How could I like him?" I wailed

I had been in denial entire time, but what happened just then served as a reality check. The way his eyes bore into mine, the way my heart raced, the way his pupils dilated in anticipation, the way I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me so badly

"No!" I screamed again, clutching at my hair "Stop thinking about him! You hate him you hate him you hate him!"

I should've know better. That never worked

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

I spent the following weeks avoiding him. I gave his homework to his mom. I didn't visit him. I didn't text him. Virtually all contact between us had en severed. If I could keep this up, them my feelings for him would disappear eventually too.

At school, Soyoung and Changkyun reclaimed their place as the hottest couple. Whenever Eunmi and I walked past him , he acted like she didn't even exist. Soyoung made sure to rub it in Eunmi's face. We were in the same art class, and she would recount in fine detail about how she and Changkyun were so in love

"Whore" Eunmi stuttered. But that was all

By the third week of avoiding Hyungwon, it became somewhat easier

"Good night, boss!"

I was working a late shift at the diner. I checked my phone for messages from Hyungwon before I remembered that I had blocked his number. I stepped out of the store and I bumped into one of the last people I wanted to bump into

Im Changkyun

I rolled my eyes and walked on, but he stopped me

"Miyoung, I need to talk to you"

"Get lost!"

"Please, it's important"

"Do I look like I give a shit?"

"Please, Miyoung, it's about Eunmi"

I stopped resisting

"Fine"

He led me to a small barbeque tent and used his ID to order liquor. When I asked him why, he said it was because he needed the courage that liquor elicited to talk to me about Eunmi

After a few drinks, he started talking

"I loved her, you know?"

I folder my arms skeptically. I was completely sober

"Then why'd you cheat?"

Changkyun downed another shot of liquor

"I had no choice. I had to push her away"

I raised my eyebrows

"Why?"

Changkyun laughed to himself

"Now that I think about it, it's completely ridiculous. I took her to visit my mother, and my mother degraded her very harshly, solely because Eunmi didn't come from money. Eunmi's not very sensitive, but I saw her try to hold in her tears"

He paused to drink another shot

"I knew that breaking up with her while she was till in love with me would destroy her, so I had to make her hate me. That's when I devised a plan to get back together with Soyoung. That way she'd hate me, and it would hurt less than if she loved me"

He ran his hand through his hair

"She's the best person I know. She was way too good for me, Miyoung, but she loved me anyway"

Changkyun got this sort of far-away look in eyes

"And I loved her. I never stopped. Not a day has passed where I haven't regretted what I did. I was so fucking stupid, you know? I should've come clean to her and try to fix our problems, but I didn't. I took the easy way out, and now she's gone"

He laughed again, it was hollow and broken

"She was everything good. I'm complete shit as a human being without her. She made me my best self"

Changkyun finally met my eyes

"Certain things only come once in a lifetime, Miyoung, and you've got to grasp it. Once you miss it you can never get it back, and you'll regret it forever"

He stood up, staggering a little

"Remember what I said"

I got him into a taxi and handed the driver a wad of cash. I told him Changkyun's address and watched them drive away into the distance. I bused home in a daze, thinking about Changkyun's words. As I rounded the block to my house, I noticed a familiar vehicle parked in my driveway

Asleep against my front door was Hyungwon, dressed in a fleece hoodie the color of the night sky.