affluenza (1.) | ✔️

Size Thirteen In Men's

"This isn't your only Christmas present, by the way," Sebastian mumbles through his embarrassment. "This is only part one."

I smile up at him. "You spoil me, Sebastian Grey."

"You deserve it," he whispers back and then turns his head away from me. I get the feeling he's not entirely used yet to saying how he feels. So I reach up and hold his cheeks in my hand, bringing his lips down to mine. He's surprised for a second but then quickly responds, digging his hands into my jacket and pulling me closer to him. Sebastian kisses me slowly but passionately, the cold tip of his nose brushing against my cheek.

I pull back from the kiss and point a finger at his chest. "Making out can wait. 'Cause we're going ice skating!"

I grab his hand pull him onto the rink, staring up at the beautiful Christmas lights that were hovering above us, illuminating the night. Sebastian watches me and I give him a bright smile. "I think this might be the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me," I whisper, letting go of his hands to skate around a bit.

He struggles to keep his balance as I spin circles around him, laughing. "I know, I know. I'm the best boyfriend ever. But when will these skating lessons begin?"

I grab his hands again. "When you stop complaining."

The next hour is spent with him still complaining until he managed to understand the basics of ice skating. Pretty soon we were able to skate together, hand in hand. I was nervous that we'd get stares, but it became evidently clear that everyone else there was focused on their night and not the two boys on a date. I liked being able to be with him like this. Not worried about what people would say about it. To everyone on the ice we were just two people they'd probably never see again.

As we slide off the ice and get out of our skates and back into our shoes, Sebastian nudges me. "What're you thinking about?"

I shrug. "Just how cool this was. Being with you in public where nobody knows us. Where we can just be ourselves."

He smiles softly, tying the strings of his sneakers. I stare at him as he leans over, his prominent jawline, the almost translucent blonde hairs that cover his neck. He looks back up at me and frowns slightly. "What?" he asks, raising a brow.

"When did you realize you were into boys?" I ask, standing up and adjusting my coat. Sebastian stands up to and then loops his arm around mine, locking his cold fingers around mine.

"I don't know," he starts as we walk out of the ice skating rink. I think we're going back to a car but he leads me a different way until we're in a shopping center, filled with dozens of stores and restaurants. It had to be close to nine now, but there were still loads of people walking around and shopping. "I think a part of me always knew. I went through typical guy stuff, of course. I crushed on girls, noticed when their boobs grew, that kind of thing.

"But I was confused for a long time, Braylen," he murmurs, eyes misty. "I knew how I was supposed to feel about boys but I just knew that I felt differently. I never told anyone about it. When I was fourteen, though, I met this guy on a spring trip in South Carolina. Cody Palmer. We still keep in touch actually; he has a boyfriend now and everything. Dustin, I think. But anyways, I guess he was my first gay kiss."

My eyes widen. "Really?"

He nods. "Yeah. Totally awful. His braces nicked my lip and I got blood all over his shirt. We laughed about it, though and I realized it's okay to like boys. It's okay for me to feel what I feel. I have spent my entire life hating who I am, Brayls. And I just knew I didn't want to add my sexuality to the list of things I despise about myself. So I let it go."