Volume 2: A Chorus of Misery

Clouded

Disappointment is what I see in people's expressions
A sigh and a shake of the head makes me lose all motivation
Verbal abuse is what has gotten me in depression
Mistakes are what they see in me, did I forget to mention?

Hear them as they call out all my different flaws
There isn't any gain from this, it's all just loss
Repeated every single day, trying to get their point across
Ironic how they cheer me on with their fake applause

Don't know what I did wrong, guess I blame myself too
The lies they say aren't fake, they represent the truth
All this negativity has been blurring my damn view
Caught up in all this bull, I don't know what to do

My birth was never planned from the very start
Yet I still try to accept myself with my heavy heart
I wake up every day hoping that I would restart
But all this pain is doing is tearing me apart

Hope you know that I'm a mess and a letdown as well
When these shackles will break only time can really tell
I try so hard to open up and leave my personal shell
I'm so lost and so confused, take this as a cry for help

A pat on the back followed by a quick back-stab is what I get
Fake praises laced with disappointment fills me with regret
Worthless describes me well, this abuse makes me feel upset
Surfing the internet is the only way I can temporarily forget

One day, I know I'll be forced to face this reality
I can't always hide away in my virtual fantasy
Toxicity and negativity are dominant in my mentality
I only desire to have my life achieve normality

Struggling everyday and fighting with my thoughts and feelings
I do everything I can so that I don't break while living
Verbal harassment from my loved ones have gotten me reeling
I'm clouded, my vision's a blur and I don't know what I'm seeing