Past doesn't matter (Levi x OC x Erwin) AU/modern +18

Chapter 36: The price to pay Pt. 2

On the fifth floor of the hotel, I finally reached the room I had reserved. With a soft beep, I unlocked the door with the key card I had been given and entered the darkened room. With my back against the door, she fell into the lock.

I was alone.

A loud, deep sigh slipped from me. The silence here was almost gloomy, and when a few calm, clear minutes passed, I finally became aware of my surroundings and the situation.

Carelessly, I reached for my phone to check the time, but as soon as the weak light illuminated the colorful background, a raging, stabbing pain shot right into my heart that made my breath hitch.

There on my display shone the charming and contagious smile of my Nina. A photo I took at the moment when she was not paying attention and where her whole, natural and genuine beauty was revealed. I remembered that day exactly. It was warm, we walked through the city, hand in hand, and when she started to look at something in a shop window, she came back with such a warm smile that within seconds I pulled out the phone and pressed the trigger.

It was the most beautiful photo I had of her. Not even her breathtaking nudity could match the beauty of her honest laugh. And the longer I stared at the picture, the more I realized what I had done, what I had lost.

Never again would I see this laugh, never again would she wake up next to me in the morning, in my arm, never again would she stroke my cheek with her tender, soft hand to wish me a good morning, never again with me in the evening I go to bed and never again will I feel the softness of her skin on mine, never again will I hear her beautiful voice as she moans my name, asks me to beg her to take it faster, harder. And never again will I see her wearing the underwear I loved to see.

Never again.

All my dreams, all my plans for the future, all destroyed within a few minutes, popped like a bubble as if it never existed.

My chest ached so much as if my heart was torn to pieces. I gasped, breathed heavily, panted desperately, grabbed my chest with my hand, and crumpled the shirt in my fist.

Stunned by the unbearable, endless pain, I leaned against the door but my legs gave in. I collapsed on the floor, pulled my legs to my body as the events of the past few hours suddenly unloaded in a single gush, and swept over me like a thundering storm.

My best friend Erwin had taken my beloved Nina from me, I found out that she's in love with him, I had beaten the blonde bastard into the hospital and to top it all off: I broke up with the only woman I could imagine to marry and have a child with.

I couldn't anymore. It was all too much. It hurt so bad, I just wanted to die.

Now in this endless silence and loneliness, I surrendered to my feelings that finally overpowered and defeated me. Still clasping my heart tightly with my hand, I buried my face in the crook of my arm and cried.

Silent, pitiful sobs, born of pain, despair, and loneliness filled the room, hot, wet tears burned on my skin like acid before they dripped to the floor. Until late at night I sat behind the door with no hope of salvation.

"Please ... someone .... anyone ... please help me. Please kill me ... "

Nina P.O.V.

Two days had passed since Levi had broken up with me, and it still hurt like the night when it happened.

It was eight o'clock on a Sunday evening and I hadn't moved much in these two days, hadn't even left my apartment for training.

I sent a message to Erwin that I would like to skip training for the next time, for reasons he will surely understand, but I still haven't received an answer from him. The two small marks appeared that the message had been delivered, but so far they had not turned blue as a sign that he had read it.