Past doesn't matter (Levi x OC x Erwin) AU/modern +18

Chapter 36: The price to pay Pt. 2

Part of me wanted her to suffer! Part of it wanted her to feel the same pain that she inflicted on me.

"Do not touch me! You should have considered beforehand whether I should stay or not. Your chance is wasted. I think both of us should say goodbye here before it gets ugly. "

"No, no, no! Please understand: I love you! No matter what I feel for Erwin, my love for you is honest. Can't you hear what I'm saying ?! "

The panic in her voice, the way she shook her head in negation, tears running down her swollen face ... I felt bad. So bad for doing this to her and myself. Everything inside me screamed:

'Stay here! Take her in your arms! Find a solution and fight! Fight! '

But I had no strength left. I couldn't go on, so I suppressed all my feelings and turned away from her and put on my jacket.

"It is too late. You said enough. Thank you for a great time, I will always remember it well, but this is the end. Farewell."

Ignoring the sobs and desperate shouts behind me, and without turning around, I left her apartment for the last time as I quietly closed the door behind me, and immediately ran down the stairs.

I only heard her loud cries of agony as I tried with all my might to concentrate on something else, but it was impossible.

Her sobs sounded like screams. I winced at every sound, and every cry felt like a punch into the gut.

I completely broke her.

All the times I promised myself to never let anything bad happen to her, to protect and worship her with all I could give, to be by her side forever ... I would've never thought that I'm going to break this promise one day and be the one causing her so much pain.

Storming out of the building, I turned to the right, where the next pick up point for cabs lied.

I didn't turn around, ran as fast as I could. My mind was deaf. I thought of absolutely nothing, forced myself to keep this state for as long as possible. I felt like I was freezing to death when I stopped. I was completely on autopilot.

When I got to the pick-up point, I took the first cab that stood around, got in, and gave the address that came to my mind first.

A small hotel on the other side of town.

The last place I wanted to be was the penthouse where it all started, and which still looked like a battlefield. The place I once called home.

Erwin was in the hospital, Nina 's cozy, small apartment was forever lost to me, so I had no choice but to take refuge as far away as possible.

The way to the hotel was oppressive. The driver tried to force a conversation on me a couple of times, but I didn't respond at all. Lost in thoughts, I stared at my clasped hands in my lap as my head was about to burst from all the thoughts trying to fight their way to the surface.

I couldn't fetch a clear thought, I was empty and deaf inside, didn't even notice my surroundings when after a felt eternity the driver shook me vigorously that we had reached our destination.

I paid the driver in silence, got out, and stumbled into the hotel lobby.

Luckily for me, they still had a few rooms available.

In trance, I booked a room, nodded in agreement, or replied as briefly and concisely as possible. I just wanted my rest, wanted to get out of this agony. I just wanted to be alone.

The hotel was quiet, empty, dimly lit. No wonder at this late hour, it was after midnight. I was not even surprised that someone was still sitting at the lobby and taking room reservations but took it for granted. I didn't care.