Past doesn't matter (Levi x OC x Erwin) AU/modern +18

Chapter 36: The price to pay Pt. 1

And although I actually wanted to go back to Nina as quickly as possible, for several reasons, I couldn't leave Erwin lying here. I just couldn't ...

With painful protests from my legs, I straightened up with a deep groan and looked for my phone in this hopeless chaos.

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I crouched impatiently in the bushes before the building in a safe distance and watched the spectacle that took place at the entrance where my home was located.

After I described what I "heard" and what "probably" had happened as an anonymous caller to the police, I quickly grabbed some clean clothes and left the apartment in no time. I left the door open to make it look more like a break-in.

Feelings of guilt devoured me inwardly leaving Erwin behind like this, but I couldn't risk being arrested, possibly even locked up.

I already had too much on the notch, too much from my past which still holds to me that I simply cannot take any risks.

I knew it was wrong to go, knew I should have stayed with him and I knew I should take responsibility for my actions, like a man, like a soldier, but there was too much at stake.

Now I was sitting here in the bushes, watching the paramedics loading Erwin into their car, hanging on the drip, and with a neck support before he completely disappeared and the doors closed. The ambulance drove off with flashing lights and sirens, only the police stayed behind to search for traces.

Since I also lived in the penthouse, they would undoubtedly find my fingerprints, but I was not very worried that they would suspect me. Only if Erwin told what happened would I be really fucked up, but I couldn't think about that now.

Erwin was in good hands and I was able to concentrate on what was really important.

I had to get back to Nina as soon as possible. Not only did I want to see her again for the sake of seeing her safe ... no. Erwin had made me ... doubt.

I doubted myself and Nina. Her story and Erwins were too similar to be fictional, and the fact that the blonde ass said I wasn't listening properly reinforced my doubts. I had to find out what was really going on here as quickly as possible.

I didn't want to think too far ahead, didn't want to build up hopes or fears where they weren't, and yet I had a dark, consuming feeling in my guts, and the more I focused on it, the more I thought about Erwin's words, may they be spoken in anger or not, the more I feared what to expect as soon as I faced Nina.

When the situation in front of the building had calmed down a little, I left my hiding place and the scene of the action, towards the city, to take the shortest route to Nina 's apartment.

In a public toilet, I quickly changed my clothes and threw away the torn, blood-stained things before continuing my way.

The cold November air that blew through the deserted streets at this late hour made me shiver. It suited my mood. I felt as cold and empty inside as the streets, I had beaten my former best friend so bad, that he had to get taken to the hospital and just ran away like a coward.

What kind of person have I become?

I had no answer, and the imminent moment when I would look Nina in the eye again made me shiver as much as the cold air did.

What if Erwin actually told the truth? If he really loved her and ... she loved him back?

I shook my head to banish these thoughts. I don't want to jump to conclusions. Losing my nerves again won't help me either.