SINNERS & SAINTS ⋆ nikki sixx

31. ✭ the drugs don't work

"She had you! She had all of you here--surely you could've taken care of her?!"

"But you fucking told me to call you if she needed you, idiot!" Tommy's voice cracked and I could hear the anger in his tone... "she fucking needed you here Nikki, but you don't care."

"I didn't say that."

"Well you're sure as shit not fuckin' showing it, man."

He just groaned--probably wanting to hit Tommy.

I just knew that Mick was watching on, expecting one of them to lash out, and Vince was waiting for Tommy to accidentally let slip about us....like he had been edging closer and closer to doing every single time that he and Nikki had a heated conversation.

The clicking of heels echoed through the little hallway, before Sharise came out with "you could at least pretend to care about Christine, Nikki!" and stomped her way to my bedroom.

"Oh, fuck you, Sharise!"

"Hey, don't talk to her that fucking way, Nikki!" Vince yelled, his voice getting louder when Sharise opened the door, before it started to muffle when she closed it and he walked to the very front of the bus.

"Insufferable" she breathed out as she stood with her back against the door, smiling softly at me while I wiped at my cheeks.

"Is he mad?" I asked, pretending to be oblivious to the situation.

"At you? No. At everyone else? Oh, I think so."

I nodded in understanding and pulled the covers up a little higher, feeling nausea wash over me again. She shot me a knowing look when I reached for the puke bowl that Tommy had left for me next to the bed, and sighed out when I started to wretch.

"Before you say anything" my voice cracked as I choked on my words "I'm not pregnant."

She sat on the bed next to me and pushed hair from my face, frowning at how I was heating up but shivering at the same time. "And you're sure of that?"

"I'm sure. Ever since I had a pregnancy scare just after Nikki and I got married, I always have a couple tests in my makeup bag. Tommy made me take one after I was done throwing up, and it was negative."

Sharise furrowed her brows, clearly stumped.

"Maybe you're overdoing it" she rubbed a hand against my back. "I think you might want to go easy on yourself."

"I've been doing this for years, Sharise--"

"--that's my point exactly." I ran a hand over my face, shaking. "Look, if you're not going to stop drinking and doing heroin, at least slow down a little. I'm worried about you, Christine. So is Heather, so are the guys...and so is Nikki, even if he never says that."

"If he never says it, how do you know? He seems to be happy enough when I'm here with him, getting jacked up, keeping him company when he's strung out" I stated, my tone coming off a little more aggressive than what I'd wanted.

The bathroom door slammed when I heard Doc yelling at the guys to get back on the bus, and Nikki started to cuss at Vince because he was getting in his way.

"I'm just saying, Sharise, we're happy together--doing what we're doing. And if he was really as worried as what you're saying he is, he'd try to get me to stop. But he doesn't, he just enables me by getting me drugs and getting fucked up with me all the time."

"I know that" she said sweetly, biting her lip "but he is worried about you, I swear. He never says anything to you because, well, it's Nikki. He doesn't know how to say anything to you about it, because he knows if he tells you that he wants you to slow down, then you'll say exactly the same thing to him..."