What Now ⇔ Muke ✓

[9] Calm yourself

What a pair we are. Scarred and trapped in this ghost of a town. Maybe this is what I was destined for anyway. I sure as hell wasn't destined for anything great.

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LUKE

I sit silently, silhouetted by the late afternoon sun, which forces its blazing rays of heat down to cook my fair skin. The austere river continues its raging path down the stream, surrounded by smooth, chaste stones completely submerged under the water. I watch it, searching mindlessly for any sign of some freshwater fish that my eyes haven't noticed before. I find none, and it doesn't surprise me.

He hasn't arrived yet, and as the sun sets sluggishly, the knowledge that he isn't coming sends cold ice through my chagrin veins. To solace me, I imagine the pastel boy slipping through the trees on his way to meet me here, but the moment never comes.

I wonder what I possibly did wrong. Was I annoying? Was I too pushy when I was asking him questions? Did Calum and Ashton say something to him that hurt his feelings? I don't know, but I can imagine Michael would find any reason to flee with arbitrary impulse, vanishing into the shadows of the woods. I hardly know him- he could be quiet and unobtrusive, or he could be a sophist and punitive speaker. He hasn't bothered to speak to me enough for me to know, and I suppose I never will know.

As I sit, my heart drums out an imperative lullaby that matches the growing anger in my stomach. Could he have not at least told me he didn't want to come? Gestured to me from the shadows and explained to me his sudden disappearance? My nails rake at the cold stone beneath me, blood threatening to spill from my fingertips at the dichotomy of emotions inside my head.

Well, fine. If Michael doesn't want to bother meeting here, so be it. I stand up, brushing off any pebbles stuck to my skin as I turn around, walking prodigally on the slippery stone with the roar of the river under me. I march through the woods, nearly fuming and not bothering to control it as I head down the straight path back to the house. I know Ms. Irwin went to church in a slightly bigger town nearby, and Ashton was out with Calum, so I storm up to the front door and jam the house key into the lock, twisting it and stomping inside.

I move straight up the stairs, hurrying to my room at the end of the hall and slamming the door shut behind me, a series of brazen echoes reverberating across the house. A voice in the back of my mind screams at me that I'm overreacting, but I can't seem to control the kaleidoscope of fiery emotions inflaming my body. I know that Michael may be held back involuntarily, or he forgot, but I can't stop myself from feeling a bit betrayed when my hopes were so high.

So instead of sitting at the stone, I sit in my room in silence, listening to the breeze rattle the leaves on a nearby oak tree and let out a tiny sigh. I want to go find him, search through the bushes and hidden shadows until I see his brightly colored hair, or go search down by the treacherous stones of the river, but I don't.

I sit in utter stillness, my polemic thoughts battling each other about where he might be until my door cracks open, revealing a pair of wide hazel eyes and a bush of unruly hair.

"Hey, what are you doing in here? Cal and I have been waiting for you at the Mini Mart." Ashton asks, his words hardly lacerating my acetic brain. I turn slowly, my icy eyes meeting with his warm ones. He stares at me and looks bewildered, obviously confused. He walks forward, taking a seat beside me in front of the window.

"I was waiting for Michael. He told me he would come." I mumble, not looking at my short cousin. I stare instead outside, at the vibrant blue sky and the dull grass.

"Come where?" Ashton asks. I shake my head at him. The boy rolls his eyes and huffs, readjusting his position on the hard floor.

"Okay, well. Maybe he got held up by something?" Ashton offers. He analyzes me, trying to figure out why I'm so sullen.

"What could he have gotten held up by?" I raise my voice. "He doesn't do anything! He strolls around the woods all day and that's it!"

Ashton furrows his eyebrows at me. "So? You don't know what goes on in that kid's life." He points out. "Why are you so mad? Do you have anger issues or something?" the last sentence wasn't even sarcastic.

I shrug, avoiding his stare. "I don't know. Probably."

"Well, fix it. Go to wherever you guys were going to meet tomorrow and see if he shows up." Ashton grumbles, pushing himself up to his feet. "But stop overreacting. Calm yourself." He then turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him and leaving me alone once again.

I flip back around the window, as though Michael would come walking into view any moment. I groan, rubbing my eyes before putting on some music to drown out my caustic thoughts. I let the lyrics that I don't bother to comprehend sink into my veins until I can hardly think of anything else except the beat of the music.

I don't know why I'm so worked up over this. A nagging thought occurs to me, of what if he's hurt? He told me he likes to go down to the river and walk along the perilous stones, as though the feeling of risk is poultice on the bruises marking his skin. What if he fell into the river, carried away by the strength of the water? How could anyone find him? Would a hiker be strolling through the wet mud one day to find a small boy's body laying limp in the sludge? Would he see the bruises and wonder what happened to him, or speculate why his hair is a fading purple?

I can't stand the thought, a bitter taste rising in my throat. Compelled by this calamitous idea, I turn the music up higher to drown out any remaining voices in my head. I pray to an assortment of angels, whichever one will listen to my prayers, that the pallid boy is alright.

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A/N TOLD YOU IT WAS SHITTY

but its thursday so i updated for you guys. i know its terrible dont look at me

the next will be better i swear

please vote and comment ilyasm bye