You Just Need A Hand | Ambi & Tyrus

7

Amber POV

That just happened. Right...? Andi was about to kiss me, I swear. And I'm serious, I can't think of many things I wouldn't do right now for a time machine to rewind the past few seconds and kiss her before she backed out of it. I like to think I'm brave, or at least brave enough to take that chance and kiss her, but clearly I think too highly of myself, I just let the perfect moment pass. It was so magical. Now it's gone. And... it gave me the answer to the question I'd honestly hoped would never be resolved. Andi won't kiss me. I got too close, and I scared her, and now she's staring at the ground, muttering, probably cursing me for making this so awkward. I really am just a silly girl, pining stupidly after someone who's completely unattainable.

"I'm going to change." I say quietly.

"I'll wait outside," Andi says, "Um... can I take a picture first?"

"We can't post this one, it'll ruin the surprise for the wedding."

She keeps staring at the ground, watching her feet as she drags them across the floor, "Yeah, I know..." She clears her throat then lifts the camera again and asks meekly, in a tone I've never heard that makes me want to kick something, "Smile?"

Ha. Funny joke. For her though, I fix my hair in the mirror so it cascades over my shoulders, tilt the flower crown I'm wearing just right, and force my incorporative face muscles into something that I hope vaguely resembles a smile. A moment ago I would've felt giggy taking this picture. A moment ago I was on cloud nine. Now all I can think about is how I'm an ugly lying mess. The smile I give the camera in my face is the phoniest smile I've ever stuck to my face, and that's really saying something, I was a heartbroken customer service person at the place her ex-boyfriend hung out nearly every day while my parents' marriage died a slow and painful death. Clearly romance is the main issue here.

I've never been the type of person to be satisfied with the first picture I take, more like the twentieth, but I hardly wait for the first click before I rush off to... change out of my dress. Yeah, change out of my dress, definitely NOT cry silently in the dressing room... nope. That totally doesn't happen. ...What are you talking about?

__________

The strangest thing happens when I finally finish crying, buying my dress, buying makeup and a pack of wipes to clean up the mess on my face from the aforementioned crying that totally didn't happen, buying the flower crown I forgot about the first two times I went the register because I was a very preoccupied idiot, and, finally, buying a beautiful seafoam blue necklace and matching pair of shiny light blue, lilac and gold seahorse earrings that would look beautiful on Andi, because I seem to hate myself; Andi's still waiting for me outside the boutique, listening to something on her phone to which she's adorkably dancing.

She didn't run away. She's awesome. She's so cute. She's... making my intelligent goal to stop pining after her near damn impossible. For christ sake Andi, would you please just get the memo?! I desperately need to get over you, stop being so cute in my line of sight! Actually, scratch that, please realize you're super gay for me so I don't have to push you away to save myself. I am way to smitten with you to ever do that effectively.

"You're still here!" I call out, and saying it out loud, it sounds like the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'll be honest... it sort of feels like it is.

"I couldn't bail on you!" Andi says, taking out her earbuds, "You promised me fancy ice cream!"

"What? Am I just an ice cream machine to you?" I joke, acting like I don't wish she would've just stopped talking a second ago.

"No, you're also a lovely dress model."

My ability to act like a normal functioning human person flickers out of existence for a split second, and every rational, pessimistic thoughts I was just using to keep myself semi-sane disappears from focus. She thinks I'm lovely. Love-ly Brain! We've been through this. Meet Andi, the unattainable girl who isn't flirting with you, she's just your everyday obvious straight girl. Snap out of it. I catch up to Andi, and find myself walking much closer to her than anyone in my situation with self-preservation skills would dare, but I can't make myself step away. I want to keep her close, feel her warmth when she accidentally leans into my shoulder, catch her pinky with mine for the split second I risk. Maybe a few moments ago, I would've taken her hand, I would've been the bravely spontaneous person I imagined myself to be, but she stepped away. So now all I do is daydream.