Ham Boning - A Tragic Drumline Romance

Mistletoe

Winter was in the air and everyone in marching band felt it.

Every day band kids would gather around the Christmas tree (which actually was a music stand with light up dildos hanging from it) and sing Miss New Booty until the choir kids come in and remind them that it's that reason they are in band.

Hammy was determined to make his move on that beautiful green beefcake. But how? He hadn't the slightest idea on how to seduce his man. Give him flowers? Send him a death threat?? Burn his house down????? No no no. All bad ideas - they're way too cliché for Sean's taste. He got it. He knew what he had to do...

"Later, bitchsquealers. I'm gonna go home to my swamp!" Sean called as he moon walked out of the band room. When outside of the bandroom, he mounted his stupid giant ugly fuckboy lizard and rode off into the sunset.

God he made Hammy's ear tingle so much....

Hammy walked into the band room the next day and the lights were dimmed. What the flying dung??? He thought. He squinted into the dark room and saw a figure lying down. He walked closer to see it was Sean with a coconut bra and mistletoe on his toe.

"Hammy. Marry me you loser peen licker."

Hammy gasped.