Ham Boning - A Tragic Drumline Romance

I was only nine years old

Sean walked in to practice 3 hours late with his typical Shrek mask tapped to his face. He never took it off. He even wore it in the shower.

"Sean. You, umm, are a little late. Where were you?" Hammy inquired.

"I was in your mom. Where the fuck do you think I was, you avocado?" Sean snapped. "And the name is Shrek. Not Sean." He stormed off, holding his bass drum on top of his left nipple. Hammy stood there wide eyed for twenty minutes until another drummer on the line, J Ju came in.

"The fuck, Hamshit? What are yall doin' in here?" He asked.

"Sean is so sexy." Hammy whispered under his breath.