Breathe Apart

Prolouge

I had seen him grow from the little annoying boy he was, to this great guy he is. I cannot even deny to anyone that he had been my ideal guy since we were kids.

Ram had grown too good for me, that even he recognize me as his bestfriend, I always felt like I don't deserve him. And the fact that he was 2 years older than me even adds up in the reasons why I don't deserve this guy. His looks are too good, he is responsible and a smart guy too, that all girls in any ages in this campus has a crush on him. He's not just any ideal guy for me, I wanna freakin marry him.

It took me a lot of time hiding these foolish feelings for him but then suddenly, I guess the sky had listened to me. The guy that I thought that only see me as a girl that has been his friend and grew up with him, just suddenly confessed that he always look at me more than a friend.

Matagal na palang alam ng mga tao sa paligid namin na gusto namin ang isa't isa pero wala maski sa aming dalawa ang matapang para unang gumalaw. Our story became so legendary to anyone. Hindi na nga bago yung ganitong eksena but there still a lot who envies our love story. A couple that was bestfriends ever since they were young are now lovers. Kung tutuusin ang typical na ng ganitong istorya pero wala eh, it still feels surreal for me and for the people around us.

Ram had been a part of my life even since i got no idea what love was. He was there when I was at my happiest state and even when I was lost. He helped me find what's within me, who I really am, what I want to be, and whom I want to be with. I know this may sound so cheesy from a young blood like me, but I know that I already found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with me.

"What if you get tired of me?" I asked. We are sitting at this small table in a coffee shop near our campus. This is  normal to us, sitting together while doing each other's stuff.

"Why would I get tired?" Pagbabalik nya ng tanong at bumaling ng tingin saken.

"Just because." Kibit balikat ko habang tinitignan ang mga mata niyang puno ng pagtataka. "People change just like seasons. You might wake up one day, pagod ka na pala sakin." Dagdag ko at umiwas sa mga tingin nya. Maaring puno na rin sya ng tanong kung bakit ko bigla naiisip yung ganitong bagay. Isang taon na rin ang lumipas ng umamin sya. It's been a year when we made it official.

"Yra, why would you think something like that?" He asked as he's tone is getting pissed that made him close his laptop and look at me straight. "I am aware that I can't spend enough tine with you lately. Alam mo naman eh finals na Yra! I cannot just sit and do nothin with you. It's not that I'm tired with you, I just have so many on my loads right now." He explained like he is so stressed with everything and I'm making it worse.

"I'm just asking. You're over reacting." I said while pouting and took a sip from this silly pink drink he always buy. Yeah right, busy ka lang siguro that you already forget my favorites. Alam ko ang childish ko ngayon but for more than a year we'd been together parang nakalimutan nya na magkaibigan kami before, I mean he forgot a lot about me.

So many had changed in the past couple of months. I don't know but it's getting even worst as the time passes. I feel like he's no more the Ram I fell with. Hindi ko alam kung nagdadahilan lang sya minsan na pagod sya pero parang unti unti niyang nakakalimutan what I am and what we were before.

I always remind myself na hindi na dapat ako magtaka, iba na kami ngayon mula sa kung ano kami noon. We got a year older and it's that. Pero di ko pa rin maiwasan isipin na tama pa ba to? O tama ba talaga to? Tinaya ko kung anong meron kami noon para sa isang relasyon na parang hindi naman nagwowork. Minsan sumasagi sa isip ko na sana hindi na lang pala naging kami.

A week had passed since the last time Ram and I met. Finals nga eh. Busy lahat ng tao, lalo na sa department nila, there are just so many things happening in the college department. Hindi na nga ko nagreklamo eh that he just texts a phrase at the morning and only calls me when he got home telling me he was tired and he needs to rest. Atleast nag-a-update pa ren at I think yun yung importante.

"Yra, have you heard about it?" Sabi ni Yana habang nagmamadaling umupo sa harap ko. I helped my sister preparing for the opening for her cafe kaya nagskip na ko ng morning class. Lunchtime pa lang nang dumating ako dito sa campus kaya dumiretso na muna ako sa canteen sahil hindi pa naman din ako naglalunch.

"Ang alin?" Pagbabalik ko ng tanong kay Yana dahil mukang seryoso sya sa sasabihin nya.

"Nagkagulo daw sa event ng department nila Ram, narinig kong pinaguusapan ng mga instructors kanina." Her mother is a teacher in the campus kaya lagi syang tambay sa faculty.

"Huh?! What happened?" I asked and put down my spoon and look at her seriously, as I also starts to feel the chill.

"You won't believe this." She said like something really interestingly bad happened that even made me more nervous. "There's a girl that…." Sasagot na sana sya ng biglang lumapit samen ang isa sa mga kaibigan ni Ram.

Natagpuan ko na lang ang sarili ko na tumatakbo papunta sa infirmary. The friend of Ram told me that he just suddenly collapsed at kanina pa daw nila ako hinahanap. Hindi ko alam yung dahilan pero mula pa sa naputol namin na usapan ng kaibigan ko may ibang kaba na ko na nararamdaman.

Nang malapit na ko sa infirmary binagalan ko na ang paglalakad ko at tahimik na pumasok. I saw Ram with one of the bed inside. Mukang pagod na pagod sya at nanginginig ang buong katawan nya. I walk towards him and then he just woke up. He sighed and somehow relieve after seeing me but it doesn't last so long when he suddenly just cry.

"I'm sorry." Sambit niya na parang pagod na pagod at hinang hina. Natigil ako sa paglapit sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari pero naramdaman ko yung bigat ng mga salita nya.

"Please don't ever forgive me." Dagdag nya na tila isang kutsilyong tumama sakin sa hindi ko malamang dahilan.  Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang bigat at ang sakit na marinig ang mga boses nya. His expression looks like he lose everything he has, his voice sounds so defeated. His tears keeps running from his eyes. He never cried like this even before.

Nananatili ako kung nasaan ako habang nakikita syang umiyak. Hindi ko maintindihan ang mga nangayari. Ram continue crying and look at me, contemplating like he is suppose to say or to do something.

"Ram, what happened?" I asked him worriedly while trying to reach him. I want to hug him so bad, I want to let him lean on my shoulders, I want to ease his pain and tell him that I'm right here and I'll always be, even though I don't know and I can't understand what's going on.

Tuluyan akong lumapit sa kanya but before I can do anything he reach one of my hands and then a tear escapes from my eye when I saw a glimpse of the small white thing with 2 red lines that he slowly puts in my hand.