Finding Me In You

16 Birthday

Yivette Kessler

I can't help but to cry when I saw the reading corner that they provided for me.

Mikaela, Kyer, Iza, and Dyen went back to take care of the customers while Kiran stayed. I happily sat on the mat.

It is so comfortable, the fact that they put three mini pillows, knowing that I love having many pillows, melted my heart. Again, my eyes started watering.

"Are you that happy?" I heard Kiran as he walked and sat on the mat. It is actually elevated so it's not plain flat on the floor. It's like a super mini stage except that it's decorated with all these things.

"Yes. Super. But I didn't forget about what you said earlier. You better buy me some." nagtagpo ang kilay ni Kiran at tila nalilito. "I did say that but do girls really hold grudges for a long time just because someone ate their last piece of kikiam?" he looks so innocent right now. If I could just squeeze that face- and so I did. Without even knowing.

When I realized what I did, I slightly slapped him instead. It wasn't a strong one but he acted like it was. He even gave me a killer stare before he left.

I let out a soft chuckle at tumayo na.

Nasa dating table ko parin ang mga gamit ko kaya kinuha ko muna iyon saka nilipat sa reading corner. It wasn't just mats and pillows, they also placed a mini bookshelf and katulad nga ng sabi ko, it was elevated at ang nasa ilalim nito ay dalawang cabinet. Happiness filled my heart again.

I opened my phone and saw messages from my aunt and from Mike.

Mike....

For the past few days, we rarely taked. He called me a few times. When I text him, he'd text me back many hours later saying that he was busy. Pero pinipilit ko parin siyang intindihin.

Whenever he called, he'll just talk about how his day went, not even asking about me. I mean, he would but he doesn't sound so interested about it.

That's when I thought about breaking up with him for real, pero hindi ko alam kung paano sasabihin and besides, I told him that I'd try.

"Yivie? Natulala ka diyan, kanina pa may tumatawag sa'yo." Natauhan ako nang magsalita si Mikaela. She was placing a cup of Latte on my table.

"Ah, oo nga. Sagutin ko lang. Thank you sa coffee." I said at lumabas sa cafe para sagutin ito. I read the name of the caller and speaking of the devil, he called.

"Mike." he sounded like he had a problem nang marinig niya ang boses ko. "How are you?" he asked. Hindi ko pa nga pala nabasa ang mga messages niya. I just saw the notification.

"I'm good. Ikaw?" hindi ko pinahalata sa boses ko ang pagkadismaya. I thought he'll greet me a happy birthday. I strolled around the area while holding the phone on my ear, it took him quite long to answer.

"I.. Look, my day was totally not good." he finally spoke. Umasa na naman ako. I let him continue at hindi na nagsalita.

"Our manager just scolded us for our performance sa practice ngayong araw, she said na hindi raw namin sineseryoso ang contest. Thinking that we practiced so hard, heck, we even slept on the studio because we had no time to go back and forth from the place that we're staying. Hindi ko maiwasan na hindi magalit. " pagr-rant niya. I think I got used to it already. Whenever he tells me stuffs like this, nakakalimutan niya ako. It's like he just needed someone to listen to his emotions.

I heard him sigh again.

"Yivie? You still there?" napatungo ako at nilaro ang mga maliliit na bato sa paa.

"Yeah..." hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot ko. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko. This relationship just felt so empty when he left.

"Yivie, I'm really sorry but the manager's calling us for practice again. I'll call you again later." see? He didn't even greet me. Umasa ako kahit papaano hanggang sa magpaalam kami sa isa't isa ngunit wala akong narinig kahit "happy" man lang.

Then reality hit me. For him, I was always an option and not a priority.