Dawn of Faith

Chapter 23

"You're...you're welcoming me?" Pitch asked warily, looking suspiciously at the Guardians in front of him. He glanced over towards me, at a loss. I nodded encouragingly.

"We haven't given you a fair chance since we learned of Fear. I think we...well, we believe we can trust you, thanks to Dawn." Tooth explained, stumbling over her words slightly.

"We haven't treated you really well as of late, and we'd like to, uh, start over..." Bunnymund added, rubbed behind his ears nervously. Both parties continuously cast looks in my direction, hoping I might bridge the awkward silence. Thankfully, Jack took up the mantle.

"If you're willing, we'd like to try and take down Fear together," he said confidently, "since you're the only one here capable of getting to him."

Pitch peered at the Guardians around him, arms crossed. His face met mine, and I smiled supportively. This was a new experience for everyone involved, and it wouldn't surprise me if Pitch needed a bit more convincing. I ruminated on what I would say if he refused, how I might be able to at least help him understand why the Guardians were willing to wipe the slate clean. A few tense moments passed, and he sighed.

"I can't say I understand why you're choosing to forgive the mistakes I've made." His eyes narrowed, and I saw the barely concealed anger that flickered there. "I agree to this only for Dawn. Time may change that, but for now, I do this for her, and her alone. I hope you understand."

North bowed his head, extending a hand. "We understand. Do we have agreement?"

Hesitantly, Pitch reached out and shook North's open palm, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. He straightened as he released his grip on the shake, withdrawing a little too quickly. "If you don't mind, I need to speak with Dawn alone for a moment. We'll...be back soon."

The Guardians let us go, everyone eager to leave the uncomfortable interaction behind us. I prayed it wouldn't always be so difficult. I guided Pitch to an open balcony overlooking the northern landscape. The frozen air that danced around us did not bother me, as we stood gazing across the white expanse of snow and ice.

"I can't believe what I just agreed to," Pitch lamented, burying his face in his hands. I laid an arm over his shoulders, worried. It couldn't have been easy, given his history, even if it was primarily under Fear's influence.

"We need your help, Pitch. We can't defeat Fear on our own. You saw what happened when we were last attacked. They genuinely want to start anew, you know."

He wouldn't meet my eye, staring across the tundra like it held his salvation. When he spoke again, it was in a low, painful growl. "Several hundred years of fighting and fear do not vanish with a little goodwill, Dawn." His voice was harsh, angry, accusatory. "I can't forget the times they beat me down, humiliated me, destroyed my every hope. They hid you from me, as if I were a danger to you. When truly..." he laughed bitterly, "you were the one thing that could have saved me. All those years I was trapped, they did everything they could to ensure my captivity. Yet here I am, expected to help them, after all they did to me."

I remained silent, his words piercing through my positivity. The Guardians couldn't have known I would be the one thing that would break Fear's control. None of us did. They acted in defense of the children, and nobody could deny that although not in command of himself, Pitch had played a major role in multiple attacks against them. Yet none of us could imagine how he had felt, all those long and lonely years, fading in and out of himself under Fear's control. How many days had he been able to lament his fate? Wish for something better? How many times had he wondered desperately where I was, hiding from him as if he, not Fear, were my poison? Doubt and confusion overwhelmed me, and I stepped away from him. He turned, surprised, and sorrow flashed across his face.

"Dawn, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He moved closer, opening his arms. I stumbled back, further from his embrace. All those years, all that pain, had been because I had been a coward. Because I had been unable to face my own fears. "Dawn..." he weakly called my name, breaking me from my trance.

"I don't..." I choked, fighting back sobs. How could I stand there, telling him we needed him, when I hadn't been there when he needed me most? He looked at me sadly, and I shook my head. I couldn't get any words out, the emotion constricting my throat too tight. Silver stardust began to dance around me, responding to my rising emotional distress. His face fell, misinterpreting my breakdown as he withdrew.

"What am I thinking," he mumbled, stepping away from me, "believing I could be good?" He stared down at his hands, clenching them into tight fists. Nightmare sand swirled around his feet, kicking up a whirlwind of snow and dark grains.

"All these years of frustration and anger...what if I was never good at all? What if your memories of me are all fake? Just stories fed to you by the Man in the Moon, trying to get me to mend my ways? And here I stand, believing I've found you again, that I can finally return to you, and yet you're as far from my reach as ever. I've been nothing but foolish, my hopes of coming back as ridiculous as your belief that I could be good." He clutched his head in his hands, sinking to his knees.

My voice fled me. My limbs held no strength to move. I could only stand and watch as he spiraled in his doubt, falling deeper into his self-imposed conviction.

"This is all just a dream, and I'm going to wake up and see the empty black globe, with only the silence and sand to keep me company. You'll be a mirage, as you've always been, and I'll be under the control of Fear again. I'll be evil once more." He stared into the snow, watching the sand settle around him. "And nobody will care when I fade away."

His words jarred me from my paralysis, and I could see clearly again: his vulnerable form huddled in front of me, plagued with conflicting notions of good versus evil. The cold wind bit into my skin, reminding me of reality, and all my fears and concern melted away. I sunk to my knees beside him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. His body shivered, whether from emotion or the cold I could not tell. He flinched at my touch, but did not send me away. I lowered my forehead to the side of his.

"You're not evil. You never have been. The past few days have not been a dream. You're struggling with anger, but it does not mean you are bad. They hurt you in the past, and I blame myself for...for your isolation. I was too afraid to face you, and I will forever regret that." He finally raised his face to mine. Tentatively, he raised a frozen hand to my cheek, as if afraid I would disappear if he touched me. "But we must move on. Our past no longer defines us. If we can defeat Fear, we can save the children, and we can protect you from falling into his clutches once again. This is what we're facing, and we can't do it without you. You're the only one who can help us. And I know that, buried under all that resentment, there is a Pitch who does care, who can forgive, no matter how you were wronged. Deep down you still have the desire to defend the children, even if it means forgiving those who hurt you. You have it in you. Perhaps you just need a little help reaching it."

His golden eyes looked into mine, shining brighter than any star. Nightmare sand and stardust pooled around our knees, rising up in small spirals in response to our heightened emotions. Gently, I brought my face closer, softly placing my lips against his.

"I believe in you, Pitch. I always have. And I promise, I always will."