EAST SIDE ~ OUTER BANKS [JJ]

FOURTEEN

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"I see oceans in your eyes.It makes me scared"-Scared By Jeremy Zucker

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"They told me all my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential" - This is me trying, Taylor swift

LACEY HONESTLY NEVER RAN AWAY FROM SOMETHING AS FAST AS SHE DID THAT NIGHT.Despite JJ's on going calls, The girl continued speed walking towards her house, not taking a moment to gather her thoughts or the sudden rush of overwhelming feelings . The walk only lasted twenty minutes or so but it felt like an eternity as she walked alone. One foot in front of the other.

Lacey couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face as she got mad at herself for what she was feeling. She didn't want any of this, she didn't want a repeat of Rafe and she definitely didn't want to hurt JJ like she did ever other boy, but she had to protect herself.

The girl knew exactly how relationships work and she wasn't ready for whatever emotions got thrown her way in one. The feeling of suffocation was horrendous as she kept one foot in front of the other, walking down the empty street. She hated this, the feeling JJ gave her. The way her stomach literally gittered every time he held her hand or looked at her longer than a second. She hated him for making her feel that way.

It was like ever bad experience the girl had ever been through replayed over and over again in her head. Until she couldn't take it anymore. Everything hurt. It felt as though breathing was the hardest thing she could possibly do in the moment. In a way the girl knew she was being slightly dramatic. However the more she moved, the more traumatic moments would just keep reminding the teenage girl of the life she lived. The mark on her neck, the bruise on her hand from punching topper. The mega mansions she walked by with every stride. She was a kook. If not born, made. This was her life. Suffocation and venomous. The balls, the traumatic incounters with Rafe, the objections to her body. That would never stopped. Not if she liked JJ and not even if she opened up. There was no point.

The endless loop of disappointment, the endless numbness which would continue on until her last breathe. No fancy cars or jewelry would hide the fact that she was broken. That everything in her life was flawed and would suddenly not get repaired by one boy in the Cut.

Continuing to deny whatever feelings the girl felt had suddenly accumulated when being around JJ was hard, however the feeling of being hurt was worse. She knew that in the end JJ would just hurt her, crush her heart into two and maybe he wouldn't mean it, maybe it would be a simple mistake. Either way her heart would be broken and once again she would have to try rebuild the broken piece, like alway.

She softly opened the front door, happy to not see her mother's car in the driveway. She intended on walking straight up the stair and do what she thought was best for her right now - going to Toppers party and get shit faced. However two steps into the house the girl took a tumble, straight into the ground.