Loony & Strangelove

Part One

Two weeks later... 

Being some of the smart, top-grade students in the school, Luna and (Y/n) had to endure their first three weeks of the second term completing tests. It wasn't until some changes were made known to the students after the third week. As Professor Dumbledore made his address to the students of Dolores Umbridge's being instated as the new Defense Against The Dark Arts professor. 

After Umbridge rudely interrupted Professor Dumbledore's address, she got up from her seat beside Professor Snape to stand where the headmaster was and gave her speech. "The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance... There again, progress for progress's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering... Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited." 

"This is exactly what Eugene warned us about," (Y/n) whispered to Luna, who nodded a bit without (Y/n) to see her do so. 

At the conclusion of the assembly, (Y/n) attended his first lesson in Defense Against The Dark Arts - Umbridge had a late arrival at Hogwarts so everyone attending DATDA wouldn't begin until Umbridge had taken her place as professor of that class - in total fear of the power Umbridge held. Ever since (Y/n) got a B on a majority of his classes, he had a very bad feeling his second F would come more often as the first F had come from being spited by Professor Snape. Speaking of which, (Y/n)'s DATDA class had taken their seats wherever they pleased in the room that was governed by Dolores Umbridge, turning the teacher's office that once was filled with portraits of the once glorified Gilderoy Lockhart, to that of kittens - this was only barely visible due to some students being able to peer inside to see Umbridge's room makeover. 

"Good morning, children." A quiet voice loomed from the back of the class as a woman dressed in everything pink walked to the front of the room, waving her wand to write what she was saying. "Ordinary Wizarding Levels examinations. O.W.Ls! More commonly known as...? O.W.Ls. Study hard, and you will be rewarded. Fail to do so, and the consequences may be... severe. Your previous instruction in this subject has been disturbingly, uneven. But you'll be pleased to know, from now on, you will be following a carefully structured Ministry-approved course of defensive magic." 

With a swish of her wand, books were handed out to the students in each row. Once every student got their copy, they all skimmed through when Cal Mari raised his hand and spoke out in turn. 

"There's nothing in here about using defensive spells." Cal pointed out. 

"Using spells?" Umbridge's voice pitched in a sourly sweet tone and laughed. "Well, I can't imagine why you would need to use spells in my classroom." 

"So, what, we're not using magic anymore?" A random person spoke out. 

Umbridge shook her head and walked along through the gap in between the student's desks. "No, silly child. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free environment." 

"If we're attacked, it won't be 'risk-free', now would it?" (Y/n) said moodily in disappointment of the Ministry's idea of teaching Defense Against The Dark Arts. 

Umbridge then walked back to the front as she spoke with her back turned to (Y/n). "Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class." She warned (Y/n) and everyone else as her voice instantly changed to a sour one until she turned around and put on her sour, shrill voice. "It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge would be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which after all, is what school is all about. And, upholding school standards such as shaving, grooming, and the dress code. In case you have missed it, Mr Strangelove, clearly states that no jewelry or offensive attachments are permitted on a student's person whilst in their school uniform. I cannot understand why a student would wear such a... daft necklace." 

Luna immediately knew what (Y/n) was going to say and stopped him from speaking back to Umbridge as she gestured him to take it off as to avoid getting a detention. (Y/n) raised his hand and was politely acknowledged by Umbridge. 

"And how is theory supposed to protect us for what's out there?" (Y/n) said boldly as he began to stray on thin ice. 

"There's nothing out there, child. Who do you imagine would attack children like you?" Umbridge responded as she deliberately implied a negative answer to (Y/n)'s asking. 

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe... Death Eaters? Or 'He Who Shall Not Be Named': Voldemort." 

Upon (Y/n) saying the Dark Lord's name caused his classmates to whisper indistinctly about the controversial name-call. A few shook heads, while Luna supported him by putting her hand on top of his for encouragement that she was fully on his side and that of Harry Potter's. 

Umbridge's smile quivered slightly as she tried reassuring the class. "Now, let me make this, quite plain: you have been told that a certain dark wizard, is at large. Once again. This. Is. A. Lie!" 

At this point, there was no stopping (Y/n) from arguing with Umbridge, as much as Luna wanted to avoid such a confrontation. "How would you know?! You weren't there when Cedric Diggory died: it's not like he dropped dead as his own accord." 

"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident. Detention, Mr Strangelove!" 

"You keep denying Voldemort's back because you're too scared to admit it!" (Y/n) countered, calling her out for being a coward to take action with the Ministry, who are all a community full of people afraid of his return. 

"ENOUGH!!" She snapped before quickly calming herself down. "Enough... See me later, Mr Strangelove. My office. Now... back on topic. Open up to page three-hundred and sixty-four." 

Every student in the class did as they were told in fear of (Y/n) and Umbridge's sudden outburst. Umbridge then started speaking out about first-level spells as she treated the class like children that were to submit under the Ministry's commands for their new version of learning. 

At the end of a very stressful day, (Y/n) visited Umbridge in her office, where he found the whole room changed: walls were painted pink with kittens on plates and Umbridge sitting at her desk with a lamp, kettle of coffee, sugar, pens, a bowl of flowers, a picture and other such feminine things. 

"Sit." She commanded politely with a hideous smile over her gob. 

(Y/n) and did so as he was told he'd be doing lines with a special one of hers and sat at a desk and picked up the inkless quill. 

"Now, I want you to write: 'I must not tell lies'."

"Miss, no ink," (Y/n) informed her as every fiber in his body dared to protest, but he knew better and refrained from doing so, but satisfied himself with the imagination of having the roles reversed. 

"No ink needed, Mr Strangelove." 

And so, (Y/n) began to write the first line as (Y/n)'s non-dominant hand was etched with the word, 'I must not tell lies' into the skin of his hand, leaving nothing but a bad cut which it felt like. (Y/n) grunted from the pain, which was where Umbridge wandered around and pretended to care. 

"Nothing." He muttered. 

"That's right. Nothing. Because deep down, you are nothing. Mr Potter got the same message also, in case you're wondering. Hasn't said a thing ever since." She taunted him mockingly and let (Y/n) resume writing. 

"Bitch." (Y/n) thought to himself as he wrote until both sides of the thin paper he was handed was covered in 'I must not tell lies'.