Not-yet-titled sequel

Part 4

Sam sighed and finally looked up at Rebecca, then out the window. "I don't know. We're already something like halfway there, aren't we? Who knows what we'd go through getting out this far again."

Rebecca nodded, even though she realized a moment later that was silly if Sam wasn't looking her direction. "Yeah. But that's a 'sunk cost' fallacy creeping in. Sticking with something beyond when we maybe should just because of how much we've invested already."

Sam's eyes flicked back to Rebecca's, glancing over her face briefly, then down again, looking in Rebecca's general direction but not focusing on her. "Whatever you decide, whether you want to go home and try again later, or press on, I'm with you a hundred percent. I owe it to you."

Rebecca leaned forward, propping herself up with an elbow on her knee and studying the dark circles under Sam's eyes. "Rosie, you don't owe me anything, please."

A frown marred Sam's brow. "I damned well do, Remy. I really don't feel good about myself right now, I need to have that commitment to you."

It was Rebecca's turn to sigh. "Okay. I get that." She watched Sam's face for a few seconds. "Listen... the elephant in the room aside, do you want to talk? About your mom, your dad? I'm still here for you."

Sam reclined in her chair, running her hand over her face — wincing when she bumped her bandage — and then pushing her hair back. "Ugh. I guess that'd be the smart thing to do, huh?"

Rebecca didn't push, she just waited for Sam to take a moment. She ended up needing several, propping her head up with fingers against her temple, before she finally spoke again.

"What helped most, after your dad?"

Rebecca smiled sadly at Sam. She figured something like that was coming. "Honestly... a lot of the memories have faded since then, but I remember there being lots of ice cream." She laughed in chagrin. "Not that ice cream is an option right now, dammit." 

After a thoughtful pause, she went on. "I think the most effective thing was time. I just looked back one day and realized I was breathing easier. I don't remember it happening, didn't notice it, but it did. My mom's therapist told us grief was like a ton of bricks that got lighter one brick every day. She failed to mention they can come back, usually in groups or small herds and through a window because, y'know. Bricks. I guess the shit at my apartment with Monica's idiot boyfriend is an example, but over time you just try to get the good days to overpower the bad."

"How'd you get by in the meantime?"

"Eat, sleep, breathe, repeat." She stared out the window for a moment herself, then looked back at Sam with a weak chuckle. "God knows how mom did it while helping me through it too. I remember after Jaime better. Allie kept an eye on me, made sure those basics were met day one. Then Ronnie pushed me through the motions, built me a routine, fed me things to do. Then you and Rufus showed up."

Rebecca watched Sam just stew pensively for a moment. She opened her mouth to tease Sam about how this was the part when Sam would kick her toe if their positions were reversed, but bit the comment back before it escaped and she regretted it. Instead... "Hey. Come for a little walk with me?"

She also suppressed a comment about how Sam could make sure she didn't fall on her butt.

Sam looked up. "Okay."

Rebecca stood carefully, Sam hovering with a hand half-extended, ready to try to catch her if she faltered. Rebecca made it upright successfully and they started slowly towards the front door.

Epstein looked back over his shoulder when the screen hinges squeaked and stood up. The triangle bandage supporting his left arm caught her attention for a moment, and he glanced down at it too. "Don't worry, I'll be able to turn a wrench with that hand again just fine after this wing mends. You two getting some air?"

Rebecca made her way to the edge of the porch, the sounds of Sam moving behind her distracting her briefly. "Uh... yeah. I just wanted to show Sam something in the back of the car."

"Do you want me to go get it for you? I can move around just fine..."

"No, thanks. We could use the practice. If we're not back in half an hour call the Marines."

"Hah, okay." He held up his right hand. "Here, at least let me help you both down the stairs."

Rebecca smiled appreciatively, watching from the bottom when he turned around for the next trip. Sam's mood seemed lightened slightly by his gesture too. "Ever the gentleman, Lance Corporal."

"Gunny Ellis would demand nothing else, ma'ams."

The two women shared a precious real smile at that and resumed a slow stroll down the dirt road. Rebecca drifted towards the fence and hovered her hand over the rail as she walked just in case. After a minute or so, Sam spoke up.

"You said it was a heart attack with your dad, right?"

"Yeah. They said there were signs of heart disease that had been sneaking up on him."

"That sucks. We had a scare with my mom when I was eleven — cancer, but it worked out. It was actually Mike who saw it first, he told my mom a spot on her shoulder looked funny."

"Good on him." Rebecca didn't want to delve into more worries about family and send Sam into a deeper spiral, so she cast about her mind for a way to change the subject.

Sam spared her the need, fortunately. "It must have been tough in the years after, for both you and your mom, raising you on her own."

"For sure. She did her best, and her brother helped out when he could. He never had any kids, but was still a good source of support for her."

Sam looked at her sideways with a slight twinkle in her eye. "I guess she did alright."

"Heh. Flatterer." Rebecca smiled, but realized by mentioning her uncle, she'd looped right back to the topic of brothers again. Well, shit. Considering what they were going to the car for, Rebecca supposed it was inevitable.

Still, if she could postpone it... "Look at them out in the field again. They're working on the same crops as two days ago, but they're so much happier."

The liberated farmers' voices reached them — not strongly enough to pick out words, but the sounds of chatting, laughter.

"I guess you're right, we did do some good here."

Rebecca returned her gaze to Sam as she walked. "Yeah, we did." She brushed her hand against Sam's briefly, then returned her focus to not tripping over the uneven terrain. Her sense of balance was still... tentative.

They waved to Dylan on the way past the barn, but paused when they reached where the SUVs were parked. Rebecca looked back and forth between them. "Shit. Which one was ours?"

She was happy when Sam laughed before pointing to one of them. "The one with the busted tail light."

"Great. Well, at least nobody's gonna pull us over. Amira might kill us though."

"I'm sure Doug can fix it once his arm's better."

That time Rebecca laughed, and looked over at Sam with what she hoped was noticeable gratitude. A little taste of their usual chemistry felt really nice after the recent heavy bullshit. "Ah, maybe we can find him some duct tape and WD-40. Come on, help me open it."