The Orion Star

Elusive Sleep

I laugh. Lord, I'm slowly beginning to love this woman. "No, I'm not, that's why I'm calling you."

"Oh thank God," she says groggily. She then yawns and talks through it. "What can I help you with then?"

I fill her in on the details. By the end of it she sounds fully awake. I don't blame her.

"That's so screwed up."

"Yeah. And all I want to do right now is get in my car, go to the nearest supermarket, get two cases of beer, and just go crazy."

"But you won't."

I sigh. "No, I won't."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I'm not going to fuck up. Not today, anyway."

"Excellent. That's exactly how you should view it--just one day at a time."

I smile a bit.

"Wait--you hired a PI to find your family, right?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you hire her to figure out who did this?"

Oh shit. That's a really good idea. "That's a really good idea!"

"Yeah, I have those occasionally."

I laugh. "Hey, no putting yourself down. And..." I nibble on my fingernail. "I will if something like this happens again."

"Orion."

"What?"

"Orion."

"What?!"

"You should nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand."

I feel like it already got out of hand? But that would mean she's right. I don't want to drag Jessica into this--not yet, anyway. So I keep my mouth shut.

Heather sighs. "You're a stubborn jackass, you know that?"

I snort. "Yup. Comes with the territory."

"Good night, Orion. If you need anything call me back, okay?"

"Thanks Heather."

I feel a little better. Smiling, I go inside to join Tristan.

~

"I haven't slept in five days."

"Literally, or?"

"Literally. I'm jumping at shadows and seeing things out of the corner of my eye."

"Well that's not good. That's sleep deprivation. Do you know why you haven't been sleeping?"

"Someone left a dog's head on my front doorstep, and every time I start to drift off I see it."

My therapist for once doesn't know what to say. She stares at me, blinking. "You mean a real dog?"

"No, a fake one! I can't handle all the stuffing that was coming out, yaknow? Really fucking disturbing."

"Sorry, I just--do you know who did that?"

"If I fucking did, do you really think I would be here?"

"I don't know. You just said it's the image itself that hasn't been allowing you to sleep. Would knowing who did it actually bring you peace?"

I sigh, running my hand through my hair. I just want to sleep. "Maybe."

"Are you alright? Did you alert the police?"