Bad Kind of Butterflies ♧ DazaiXReaderXDOA

25. Pet Mouse

It feels like you're in a dream, though one outlined with a sense of bad kind of butterflies, you could say.

"What are you doing?" You ask, stepping towards Gogol slowly, your adrenaline rising with anticipation.

"Dos told me last night that we're ready to continue with our plan...which means he won the game right? It means you were a good little mouse after all, and I'm simply the fool that was here to put on a show." He says with a softness to his voice that practically begs you to come as close as possible, hair framing your face melting his heart, though that was one detail that had escaped your ability.

"You were never going to win. You knew that, don't make me feel guilty for picking the obvious." You whisper, looking up and searching his face for where this was all coming from, forgetting you were just standing barefoot in a room that used to be so full.

"Of course she picked pleasure over anything else, she's human after all."

Fyodor's voice pulls you back down from the clouds and you quickly step away from Gogol, who's face was now decorated with an amused smile, a chuckle escaping him as he glances towards Dostoevsky entering the room. All traces of any sorrow that had existed a few seconds ago are gone from Nikolai's face, and the whole atmosphere seems to change with a different kind of tension as soon as Fyodor steps beside him, his ushanka in his hands as he smirks at your confused look.

Of course it's all illusions. Mind games are all they know how to play...

Though if I've made it this far, I seem to like it don't I?

"Well? Aren't you going to ask what you really want to ask right now? Don't let our presence stop you, we're more familiar with what you've been doing than you think." Fyodor asks you, his eyes not leaving your position a few feet away from him.

Looking between him and Gogol, you bite you lip gently out of nerves until you nod, eyes narrowing at how oddly they're looking at you.

"What's going on?"

Fyodor then starts to walk towards you, his boots surprisingly hardly making a sound except for a gentle click against the ground, his dark hair loose against his face, his white outfit and dark cape-like overcoat lines with fur at the top moving with his gentle and elegance movements.

"I promised you you'd find yourself in a better place soon right? You've played every piece right, you've kept your loyalty...or at least, your mind has. That deserves to be rewarded no? Do you even remember what happened last night after I found you?"

"...no..."

"You were so helpless. I almost decided right then and there that you were best dead, that giving you one last night of pleasure had been enough. But our Kolya convinced me to keep you alive, though death would have felt as good as any reward..." Fyodor continues, circling around you until he is back behind you, one hand in your shoulder while another caresses your cheek with one finger, a chill running down your spine.

"...so of course, that leads me to what we've decided. This place you've so longed for...you'll be going down to the ground with me, deep underground in fact, amongst the rats...your ability is useful for keeping an eye out for liars and traitors. It's what we need...it's what I need...should our plan succeed in a few months time." Fyodor whispers beside your ear, your heart leaping out of your chest.

My ticket off of the merry-go-round was going to be a ticket to hell, yet now he's taking me out of the casino to really live by his side...does that mean then...does that mean that this promise had always been going to lead to death?

"Don't look so betrayed, Myshka! We've decided you get to live! You get to witness the birth of a new world with freedom unlike you've ever imagined!" Nikolai laughs, spreading out his arms with glee, reaching to hold both your hands in his with contagious over-excitement.

Unlike I've ever imagined?

Now, you don't notice that you've subconsciously smiled to yourself; that you've leaned in to Fyodor's touch behind you as your heart calms down with Nikolai's words. In these few moments as they both talk to you, you realize that you had rejected Dazai's offer only to be manipulated into the same deal, except with the decay of angels, and you realize that when it all came down to it, you had chosen the temptations of a morality without a specific line to cross. You chose the casino and certainty above all else. You wonder if you would be happier if you hadn't taken that liquid courage last night and instead listened to Dazai a little closer, if you had taken his hand for longer and let him coax you into believing him instead of the lies you were now being fed.

However, one thing you didn't know was the real culprit of that what if — last night's mix which had stripped you of all sense, and the lies felt like silky chocolate melting in your mouth, satisfying and blurring the obvious danger you had been in previous to waking up. You simply no longer cared anymore, and you were too deep into these butterflies inside to think otherwise. You never truly stood a chance in this amusement park when the only ticket in and out was held by a demon. Played from the start, you now longer have a choice but to listen and nod, to lust for their every touch even when setting fire to the world.

"Dear Myshka...I hope you don't mind that last night was your last night in this kingdom of chance, around all this...explosive atmosphere. It's time for the mouse to return back to the city after so many years. Kolya will be infiltrating the government in Yokohama while we work on putting every piece in its needed place. Sigma will be here guarding it all as usual until all of our times come...but there's no need to feel conflicted. We'll see each other again when the world is rebirthed without sin. I promised you a better world, and I will keep it that way. Even if your death is meant to happen later on."

Yes...

"So I've earned my place?"

"You've more than earned it. You're going to enjoy it very much."

You feel a kiss placed on your cheek, one on your hand, and you suddenly hear the door to the room open, a third set of eyes landing on you, a relief in these that belonged to Sigma. You never found out why he had been so worried about you that day, but you have nothing but happy memories of seeing him for the last time under the pleasing of the two other decay of angels members.

They had you under their full control, taking away your every regret with each kiss.

As such, there were many things you were never made aware of. You didn't know that when you had told yourself to lose yourself that masquerade night, if you had woken up, it really had been a matter of life and death. Had you stayed conscious the whole night through, things would have turned out very differently. That night was the end of your years at Sky Casino, but it was also the beginning of all your lasts. Of course, it wasn't a while before they truly became your lasts, but all the same it was all little details that never crossed your mind until you were given to the promised land.

You never noticed that for a few specific butterflies, you had signed your death sentence, and it had started at the very beginning, when you started letting your questions be answered for you.

Still, why should you have cared in the end?

You were tainted by the heart beat of others, and it had swayed every split decision you made.

You had been lost after all, and as soon as you felt found by someone claiming to be God...well, you couldn't help taking the gamble for yourself...

The gamble on your bad kind of butterflies.

Fin..?

••••

Hello! Author here,
I hope you've enjoyed this mess of a story as I enjoyed playing around with the characters.

I wanted to leave some mystery in this ending, which is why I've left it so vague.

Thank you for reading!

If you have any questions, please comment! I'm here at your service :)