8

8 months of preparation had finally paid off with the prison lights now a speck in the distance.

It's February, which means my birthday is coming up soon. I'm not too excited, I got no one to celebrate it with. For the past 8 years, my birthday has been the same; I'd wake up in my bed, cold and alone, and just lay there, thinking about Dean. After a while, I would get up and get ready to go out. I'd treat myself to breakfast at that little breakfast shop, Waffle Inn. Maybe this year I won't order tea and skip the pancakes. Dean liked pancakes. I'd just get black coffee with one sugar, maybe even that would be too sweet.

It's cold outside and I forgot to wear gloves. I wanted to turn back but I decided against it, I stuffed my hands in my coat pocket and walked down the road. I see a couple in the distance mushing their face together. I felt disgusted. Why do some couples kiss each other in public? I find it gross. Dean had the same opinion. Couples don't have to be all over each other, if they were alone then I find it proper and well-mannered. I continue walking down the road and turn left. I find the road quiet, too quiet.

Dean always said that the sound of nothing can build, whatever that meant. Now that I think of it, what did he mean? It makes no sense at all. Dean always said things that didn't make sense. He spoke like a scholar but never was. Maybe I was too stupid to understand.

My thought is interrupted by a man of around 6ft. He has a slim face and piercing eyes, a nose that was a bit too big for his face. He is wearing thick black leather gloves and handing something to me, its handle of some sort. Not thinking much of it, I reach out and grab it, the man lets go and reveals the blade, covered in blood. I stand there in shock with the blade in my hand, I look up to see the man running out of my view. I drop the blade and run back towards my apartment.

Frightened, I refuse to think who's blood that belonged to. What should I do? Call the police and tell them what happened? "NO!", I said out loud. I reasoned that they might think I did it if I called in. Why did the man come to me? Could I get PTSD? What no, I replied to myself, you could only get PTSD if you serve for your country, and like fight in Afghanistan.

I try going to sleep so I can forget about what happened but I can't go to sleep no matter how hard I try. I wonder if the man killed someone. If only Dean was here, he would know what to do. I jump at the loud sound of knocking on the front door. Oh god! Is it him? I get up slowly and cautiously grabbing the baseball bat Dean had left under my bed. I go up to the door and look through the peephole and it's the police. My heart starts pounding knowing why they're here. Or at least I think I know.

It's my birthday, usually, by now I would be eating and finishing up my breakfast at the Waffle Inn, but not today. My lawyer brings a grey suit to my holding cell. I haven't been a big believer of God or the afterlife, but somehow it feels like its judgment day.

No one believed me. I know Dean would.

On the drive to the prison, I look out the window and wonder if I wore gloves that day. I am pretty sure things would be different. If only Dean was here. I might not even last a week in prison and they gave me 10 years, I think, I wasn't listening. Getting punished for something I didn't do was not on my agenda. If only I had evidence that it was the man with piercing eyes that gave me that bloody blade. Dean could've protected me.

My cellmate is nice. Prison isn't as scary as I thought. The rule is to mind your business. Also, I haven't shared anything personal about me. It is a very dangerous place to share this one thing about me.

Prison is the worst, there hasn't been a day where I haven't got jumped. Both guards and prisoners are after me. I have to escape. The only person that seems to get along and feel comfortable with me around is Tony, my cellmate.

Tony is kind to me. It's him that drags me away and sometimes fends off other prisoners. He often steals bandages and medical supplies to patch me up. If only there were more people like him in the world.

I finally tell Tony why I am here. Tony was in for first-degree murder, he murdered his sister's rapist; Tony isn't even bothered by the fact he killed someone and serving time. I think Dean would take the same route.

I lay in bed, thinking about the man with piercing eyes. I start to wonder if I will ever find him again. It was as if he knew I would reach out. I think he knew how sad I am, at that point, I would reach out to anyone who gave me attention. I'm probably just overthinking it. The man had never seen me before and I was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time. That thought just reminded me of someone but I don't exactly remember who.

Tony had just called himself a Revengist, it's not a real word, but he said it as if it was. He sounds like Dean. Wow, Dean. I haven't thought of him in a while.

I wake up to Tony gently shaking me awake, cautious of my body filled bruises.

"Hey wake up, I need to ask you something"

I see Tony's figure blurry, he moves closer to my face and I suddenly see him as Dean. I jump up and see Tony again. Dazed and confused as to why I saw Dean.

"I am planning to escape, are you in?"

I instantly start to feel my bruises ache; I nod my head.

It's been 5 months, Tony and I have grown closer and been working on escaping. Thank god Tony is around or else I would've killed myself.

Tony and I finally picked a date. At the end of January, we are going to get out of this hell of a place. Tony planned everything. Tony is sweet and helps me.

Today is the first time in a year that I felt happy. After 8 months of planning and a whole year of suffering, I am finally getting out of this place with Tony.

It's dark but I can still see. A guard comes up and opens our cell, Tony bribed him with a large amount of money about a couple of weeks ago. He lets us into the cafeteria. Tony and I began working.

Tony picked the lock on the kitchen door, once he got it open, he looked at me smiling. We entered the kitchen and that's where I took charge, I worked in the kitchen for a month to get to know the place. I go to the back and enter the freezer, Tony following behind me. Some time ago, I noticed there was a door on the ceiling, it led outside.

Tony interlaces his fingers, getting ready for me to jump up. As I put my foot on his hands, I catch his eyes. Even in the dark, I could distinguish his features. His eyes are dark yet somehow soft, full of light. His hair was soft and parted to the side. I smile and break eye contact. I got up and opened the door, which led to a ladder. I hooked myself onto the ladder and for the first time in months, I reached out my hand for someone else. Tony jumps up and grabs my hand. It was hard to pull him up, he was quite heavy. He climbs up and ahead of me on the ladder.

We made it to the field. Both Tony and I are breathing heavily.

"We did it", I say to him

Tony smiles and raises his arms. I feel my heartbeat, it's been a while. I haven't felt this way since Dean but that was 8 years ago. I was ready to let that go and move on. It's Tony now. The bond we have will last forever. I go in for the hug.

Maybe this time I won't be alone on my birthday.

After walking a while, Tony turns to me and tells me that he is going to find the man with piercing eyes and take revenge because he is a revengist. I know he can't possibly find the man, but it's nice to know someone has got your back. Tony then with a soft voice says,

"Freedom may be sweet, but I know that revenge is sweeter".