COMPLETE. A university student. A professional hockey player. They've proved they can be friends. Can they be more?
Although they're both in their early twenties and living in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, their lives couldn't be more different. Camil...
And that's when the floodgates opened. I began to cry, just like that. It wasn't that I was particularly sad or angry or upset; it was just the fact that there were a lot of emotions flowing through me.
I'm not sure what I said, literally, as my words were probably impossible to decipher.
"It's just a stressful time," I tried to say, lamely.
Shelly grabbed a tissue from the box on her desk and handed it to me. "I'm sorry, Camille, I just wanted to be right over you. Just this once."
What the hell did that mean? I didn't think much of that statement at that point, because I was too embarrassed about my outburst.
But now that I had left the lab and was getting some fresh air walking around the neighbourhood the campus was in, clarity formed.
Shelly and I were actually becoming friends. At least to me we were. When we were done our lab shifts we'd watch funny YouTube videos or go to McDonald's together. So I knew that part of my tears was because I felt like someone who was becoming my friend was turning on me. And then she admits that she had intentions to trump me? I don't want to be seen as her competition.
The darkening sky covering the city indicates that it's twilight but even the reference to my favourite book series can't cheer me up. I lost a friend today. It's not dramatic, it's the truth. I know how I am.
The reality of my life is that I have lost every single friend that I've ever made, save for one brave soul. Because when the going gets tough, I dip. Maybe I hate being vulnerable in front of others or letting others know I'm human but as soon as I sense tension in my friendships, I can't do it anymore. I stop initiating contact, eat lunch somewhere else, disappear until that person stops reaching out. It's happened with every friend except Angela. There's something about her that just won't let me go.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time. She's in class at the moment. If she wasn't, I would've texted her.
Instead, I make my way to my favourite restaurant alone. I usually reserve treats for times when I felt like I deserved them, like if I earned a solid grade, but I needed the relief right now.
As soon as I stepped into the warm, cozy yet trendy lobby, I made a beeline for the bar. I ordered my usual (iced passonfruit herbal tea mixed with lemonade and sweetened with stevia), paid and then went to stand at the side.
And that was when I heard my name being called.
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Is it bad to wish that the fire alarm would go off at any moment now?
I didn't want there to be a legit fire or for anyone to get hurt, just a false alarm would do.
Anything that would cause an evacuation of this place would suffice, really.
I just really needed a damn reason to leave this place. But because I didn't want to offend my teammates—former teammates, at this point—I didn't want to just pick up and leave.
