Sacrifice

Ten

Before this chapter starts, I just want to say a huge thank you to @911itsanemergency and @FuckMeSarahPaulson and everyone else who has supported me endlessly through writing this. I really appreciate it and your support means the world to me.

Sarah's POV:

21st November 2010

"It's a girl!" My mom says, gasping.

They place the baby on my chest, Amanda and my mom are sobbing now. I have tears in my eyes. "Hello beautiful, I've been waiting for you." My gorgeous daughter nuzzles herself into my chest, I start crying fully and can't stop. I know it sounds cliché and everyone says this, but it really is like no other kind of love I've known in my life. It is the strongest, most beautiful love I have ever felt in my life. Unlike anything else I ever felt.
"She's beautiful, bird." Amanda tells me, her and my mom are sobbing as well. The midwives take her off to clean her and weigh her and make sure she is healthy. As soon as they take her away I start to feel anxious. I don't want my baby to be away from me. I know she will be back in no longer than ten minutes, but even having her away from me for that long seems too much. Amanda and my mom sense my anxiety and both calm me down.
"It's okay. She's coming back." My mom tells me, she puts her hand on my shoulder. I wipe my eyes and look around the room, collecting myself from the emotional rollercoaster I just went through. My whole body aches, I still haven't got the placenta out of me.
"What time is it?" I say, tiredly.
"2:00am." Amanda says, looking at her phone.

Then more midwives come back and get the placenta out of me. I'm not going to be one of those celebrities that eat theirs, so I tell them to dispose of it. Then the doctor comes in to examine me, to make sure I'm okay.
"You have hardly any tearing, so you don't need stitches. It'll be sore for a few weeks, maybe a few months, but it'll repair itself." The doctor tells me.
"Thank god."
"Lucky!" Amanda says, laughing, "I have scars on both sides from where I tore." She says laughing. I let out a laugh as well, for the first time in hours.
"Can I stand up?" I ask the doctors, wanting to get up and see my baby. They say yes, I try to sit up by myself but need help, and I waddle around painfully. Just as I get up, the midwives come back with my daughter. She is wrapped up in a blanket. They hand her over to me and I hold her in my arms. My mom grabs some of her clothes out of my bag and hands me a cute white one piece with stars all over it. Amanda has been taking photos since she was born, and is snapping away me, in my hospital gown, looking rough, holding my beautiful baby. She said she wished somebody had done that for her with her children because she misses the days when they were so tiny, and always wanted to look back on their first moments together. I'm sure I'll thank her for taking so many pictures later.

I sit there on my bed, my baby still in my arms, I'm exhausted but I can't put her down, I can't stop staring at her, I need her to be close to me. It is now 4:00am and my mom is passed out on the couch in my hospital suite. Amanda is sat on the end of my bed.

"Can I hold her?" She asks me, I nod, handing her over carefully. Amanda rocks her gently back and forth, "Hello gorgeous." She says, smiling down at her. "She looks just like you." I smile at this comment. I was hoping she would look more like me than her mystery father.

"Have you thought of any names?" Amanda asks, handing me back my baby.

"Well, yes, but I'm not sure any of them fit her. She's special, she needs a special name." I say, looking at her, trying to figure out a name worthy enough to show how extremely incredible she is.

"Hmmm." Amanda says, thinking hard. "I think she should have a girly, delicate name, you know? Really soft and pretty." I agree with her, she needs a beautiful name. "Let's look through the baby names book." She gets it out of my bag. I didn't even know that we had brought it. She said she saw it on my coffee table before we left and brought it just in case. We flick through it until about 5:00am, starting to give up. I've had to change and feed the baby during that time, and she is starting to get fussy, I don't want her to wake my mom. So i stand up and walk around the room with her, bouncing her up and down gently. Amanda is still on the bed, looking through names. When she stops, she looks at me, her mouth wide open.