Sacrifice

Nine

"No, Sarah, because what if you have the baby straight after your water breaks fully? Then be baby will be born in the toilet." I laugh at her, but then she gives me a serious look and i shut up. "You bounce on that ball until your water breaks fully, then you can go and change clothes and we'll go to the hospital." As she says that, i start to feel a very sharp pain running all the way through my spine and stomach. My face must be showing how much pain I am in, because my mom stands up and comes to my side immediately. "Was that the first contraction?" She asks, I nod, the pain still going. It feels like a really, really bad period cramp. It ends after about 70 seconds. I carry on bouncing until eventually this huge pressure is released. It feels like a tidal wave crashed into me as my water fully broke.

"Go and change." My mom tells me, mopping up after me. I waddle to my bedroom, take off my wet sweatpants and replace them with new ones. The contractions are getting closer together and more intense.

"Mom!" I shout, clutching my stomach and leaning on my bed, yelping in pain through a contraction.

"Yes honey?" She says, running into the room.

"Can you call Amanda please?"I say, grabbing the size of the bed and squeezing it as hard as I could to get through the pain. I know Amanda is the only person that is going to make me feel better now, even though it wasn't the plan to have her be there for the birth. My mom hurries out of the room to get my purse, and a few seconds later I hear her talking to Amanda. "She's leaving the kids with David and coming straight over!" My mom says after, coming to me and leading me back to the living room. I'm starting to get extremely irritable and snappy and my mom is trying her best not to argue back, given the situation. I just want Amanda.

Ten minutes later Amanda bursts through the door. "Birdy." She says, sitting down next to me and pulling me into a hug. As soon as I'm next to her I just burst out crying. I can't stop sobbing.

"I don't know If i can do this Mandy." I say, clutching onto her arms for dear life, grunting with pain through another contraction.

"I know, I know...." Amanda says, hushing me and rubbing my back. "Listen. You are an incredibly strong woman. You've got this. I'd say from what your mom told me that we will only need to wait another 30 minutes to an hour until we can go to the hospital. I'll be by your side the whole time," Her support makes me cry even more. I was there for her when Frankie was born, but I couldn't be there when Molly was born.

"But what about Fran and Molly?" I sob. She chuckles at me slightly,

"Come on Sarah, they're fine. They're with David, everything is alright. You have me and your mom and we're here for you." I sit with her, cuddled up on the couch. My contractions getting more and more intense. I stop crying and calm down. Amanda doing breathing exercises with me through my contractions to me make me feel better. I'm leaving finger nail marks in her arms and hands from where I'm squeezing but she doesn't seem to mind. Finally, my contractions are 5 minutes apart. My mom grabs the hospital bag, Amanda hops in the drivers seat in my car, my mom sits in the back next to my baby car seat and helps me into the passenger side and we drive to the hospital. The pain is getting completely unbearable, my mom has to reach forward at one point so I can grab onto somebody's hand.

When we get to the hospital they take me to the labour ward. I asked for a private birthing suit, which they take me to. The midwife gives me a few moments to get into my hospital gown. Amanda and my mom sit in the room, with my bag, making sure i have everything. Then the midwife comes back in and does a few checks on me while I'm laying on the hospital bed.

"You are about 6cm dilated." She tells me, "You'll be ready to push in a few hours, we can set you up with an epidural if you wanted?" The pain is so much that I nearly consider having an epidural, but I freak myself out about these things and I read stories of women who were paralysed from them. I decline the offer and the midwife leaves again. I'm left for a few hours with Amanda and my mom. My mom calls Rachel and Liz to tell them where I am, Amanda is holding my hands through my contractions. Then my mom calls my dad, who I know won't be able to make it down from Florida for at least a few days.

"He says he's booking his flights straight away." My mom tells me as she hangs up the phone. "Liz is going to bring Ethan tomorrow morning to meet his cousin and they're picking Rachel up on the way." She tells me. Ethan is my one year old nephew. I'm digging my nails into Amanda's palm and screaming painfully.
"Get this baby out of me!" I cry, then I look at the marks I've made on Amanda's skin. "Sorry bird." I say, letting go slightly.
She just shakes her head, "no, bird, don't worry. Squeeze me as hard as you want. I know what it's like." I have a bead of sweat running down my forehead, she wipes my hair from my eyes delicately and puts it behind my ears, "you've got this, gorgeous." She says, kissing my cheek.

The midwife comes back in a few painful hours later, the hours felt like years.
"You can start pushing now." She tells me,
"Oh thank goodness." I say, breathing a sign of relief. "Can I have some gas and air please?"
"Right away ma'am." She says, nodding as more midwives come back in, she hands me the gas and air and I start to breathe it in and out slowly.
Amanda and my mom stay at my head, either side of me, holding my hands. The gas and air hanging out of my mouth. As soon as I start pushing it becomes more painful. I bite down hard on the gas and air pump as the midwives tell me to "keep pushing! You're doing so good!"
After 30 minutes of pushing I become exhausted.
"I can't do this anymore." I scream, then bite down on the pump again.
"Just a few more pushes. You're doing so well." The midwife tells me. Amanda and my mom are cheering me on from each side.

"Just one more big push. I can see the head." The midwife tells me, this sparks me into action.

"Come on, nearly there bird!" Amanda says, I turn to my mom and she has tears in her eyes. I push as hard and as long as i can. I feel a jolt, then a sudden relief. Then I see the midwives wiping the baby off and then cutting the cord.

"Congratulations ma'am." The midwife says to me, holding my baby up so I can see them properly.

"I knew it!" I said, gasping as I get a proper look.