Wholesome

2. Clouds

Aspen stares at her ceiling, wondering when she can finally get some sleep. She's been seeing clouds ever since she painted them earlier, when her angry strokes hit the canvas harder than she should have. Now it was marked with cuts and bruises and her hands were trembling.

She didn't know why she felt this anger. This overpowering emotion. Maybe it was from her mother, clearly tired, that had asked her to cook for herself again. Maybe it was Kara's comment when she got down from the bus. Maybe it was pretty girl that happened to be Georgia— she should have known. She'd seen pretty girl break pretty boy's heart. She'd seen it all. But she didn't like the fact that Pretty girl had it all- artistic fiber, cute face and popularity.

Georgia's heart still thumped against her chest, though it had been hours. After Art Club, she'd went to the parking lot to get her car. Thomas had been leaning on her SUV. His eyes were red, he was shifty and tired, but he'd waited. He apologized for pressuring her all this time into kisses. His voice had been all soft when he'd said:

"Whatever happens, I'll always love you. Always. I want what's best for you. I want you to be happy, baby."

She'd cried, and they'd hugged. Both of them had cried. He gave her the bracelet she'd given him two summers ago, with her engraved initials, she'd given him the necklace. They'd kissed one last time, and then they parted with heavy hearts.

She never had wanted to hurt him. She loved him, very much so. But she didn't love him in a way that was fair to him.

Coming home, she'd cried all along the ride. Not because she was hurt, but because she realised that she'd have to explain to Paloma, her mother, and to all her friends- Dana, Ricky, Mayson— why she'd left her boyfriend of five years. How could she explain that she was gay without being judged?

Aspen dreamed of blue eyes and clouds that night.

Lana joined Aspen as she entered the school. Her golden hair was tied into a ponytail on top of her head.

" Hey!"

Aspen smiled.

"Hi."

" You look like hell."

"Thanks."

The whole day, whilst Tina and Lana spoke of what they'd do in Art Club— pottery, painting, sketching, photography, sewing... The list went on— Aspe was lost in thoughts of bluish clouds and honey hair.

Georgia nodded along as Dana spoke about boys— the cute boy at K-Mart, the blue eyed geek in Algebra, the hot guy from college, the redhead from PE, the adorable guy from Juvie, the dark skinned boy from tennis club, the ravishing newbie from Britain. She didn't care. Well, it wasn't that she didn't care, more that the cute pair of abs Dana had seen at the beach yesterday didn't make her yearn for it. She thought of how she'd come out, of a girl she wouldn't mind kissing, of that hot girl from Art Club and the cute nerd in French Class.

" You with me?"

Georgie smiled, coming back to reality.

"Yes. Yes. Yes I am."

" Well you didn't say anything when  I told you Nicolas became a real hottie over the summer."

" He was bound to be hot. Look at Brad, his bro."

" I know! Right?"

Dana took a sip from her milkshake.

" I would tap that."

Georgia chuckled dryly.

" You're terrible."

Dana was a cute mixed girl. She had curly hair and dark brown eyes. She wore a crop pink top with mom jeans and heels. She was beautiful.

" Hey, Georgie?"

"Yeah?"

" Why did you get rid of Thomas?"

" I didn't get rid of him. I broke up with him. Nuance."

" Why?" She said, her intense gaze now upon Georgie

" Because it was a dry relationship. I need me some passion."

" You could've tried making it better. He's awesome and you're awesome and you were an amazing couple."

" Dana, I really don't need judgment right now."

" Do you love him?"

" Of course I do."

" Than why break up?"

Georgia could feel her eyes tearing up again. She glanced at her uneaten donut.

" George, you can tell me anything. I'm your best friend, remember? Did he hurt you?"

" Dana, I love him and he loves me. He was super sweet about my decision later on."

" I don't get it."

" I don't like guys, Dana."

Georgia's heart start beating. She said it. She said it out loud. She could feel her face burning up and her throat tightening.

" You what?"

" I don't like guys."

" You dont like.. guys?"

" No."

" You..."

" I'm gay, Dana."

Her friend smiled softly.

" Why did you date Thom all these years though?"

" Because I thought I liked men. Turns out... Kissing a girl feels much much better."

" So you're not bi?"

" No. I think I'm gay, Dane."

Dana smiled again.

" That's cool."