A Sprinkle of Stardust

Chapter 39 - Defeat

Nash hadn't realised he was crying until he felt the tears tracing warm, wet paths over his palms and down his sleeves.

"Oh, Nash." Benje's voice softened. He put a hand on Nash's shoulder. "I know things look bleak. The Esch woman escaped after she tried to kill you. Her accomplice has been executed. Stories are going around. You're lonely, and you're only getting sicker. I've called in a healer—one far stronger than me. I should've done it a long time ago. He'll be here in the afternoon."

Nash shook his head. There was nothing a healer could do for him, but Benje didn't know that.

This wasn't a sickness. This was revenge.

"Do you remember when I lost my mother?" Benje asked softly.

"Yes," Nash mumbled.

"Then you must remember that I didn't leave my room for a week. Still, there was a pesky little prince who kept knocking on my door. Sometimes he would ask me to play. Sometimes he'd leave me something nice, like cake, exactly half of his helping. By the heavens, all I had wanted was for you to leave me alone." Benje gave a quiet chuckle. "You were so annoying."

Nash gave a choked laugh. He wiped at his face, then looked up to meet Benje's eyes in the mirror.

"I was nowhere near as annoying as you were! You were always telling me not to do this or that—"

"Because you would get hurt." Benje squeezed Nash's shoulder. "I was only protecting you. You were my best friend. You still are, and I won't let anything happen to you, even by your own hand." He gave Nash a small smile. "You didn't give up on me when I was going through a tough time. I'm not giving up on you either."

Nash fought back tears. He really was weak, just like Rayn had always said.

Kings didn't cry.

"But...you know what I've done. The deaths I've caused. I don't deserve your kindness."

Elvenland would be better off without Nash. He was supposed to protect his people, but he had made a terrible mess of it.

"Everyone deserves kindness, Nash. Whatever is going on with you, we can get through it together. Unlike some people, I will never leave your side."

The pointed comment wasn't lost on Nash. Benje had a special dislike for Lyrani, but Nash had no idea why. He didn't think they had ever met.

Perhaps it was simply because she was the villain in Benje's version of the story. She had seduced Nash and broken his heart when she tried to kill him. The wreck that had become of Nash was all her fault.

Benje didn't know anything about Rayn, and Nash wanted to keep it that way. It left one less person for Rayn to kill to protect herself.

"Thank you," was all Nash whispered.

There wasn't much Benje could do to help him, but he felt better knowing that he wasn't alone. With Benje constantly at his side, he never had been, even if he got so lost in his mind that it felt like he was.

Patting Nash's shoulder, Benje bent to gather all the crystal decanters. "Now, if Your Majesty doesn't mind, I'm going to take these off your hands."

Surely he could leave just one for Nash to take the edge off.

"Benje—" protested Nash.

His right hand man met his gaze, such profound sadness in his blue eyes that Nash's words dried up.

"You know it's for your own good, Nash."

An unbearable pain started in Nash's head and pulsated outwards. He doubled over, clutching the table.

What was this torture? It felt like long, deep lines were being carved into his brain by a hot sword.

"Nash? Are you all right?" Benje set the bottles down and rested a hand on Nash's back.

"Benje, go now," said Nash through his teeth. "Take the liquor if you want."

He tried to look at his right hand man, but a strange pattern passed over his vision, burning into the backs of his eyes.

Nash didn't know what was happening, but he wanted Benje to be safe. He was a good man. Through Nash's tantrums and fits, he had never left his side. It was more loyalty than Nash had deserved but the amount he had needed.

"As you wish." The decanters clinked against one another as Benje regathered them hastily and ran out of the room.

The voice in Nash's head spoke only when the door had clicked shut behind Benje.

Let me handle this.

"What?" he asked aloud.

There was a stab of pain on the left side of his head, but speaking hurt less than thinking his replies to Rayn.

The girl. The gossip. The drinking problem. I can make it all go away.

He could hear the smile in his grandmother's voice, and it sent shivers down his spine. It was ironic that she should sound so alive while she drove Nash closer to his death every day.

He had seen what Rayn's "handling" entailed.

It was usually murder, sometimes with torture and humiliation thrown in if she was in the mood. Nash wanted no part of it.

"I can handle it on my own, thank you."

Rayn's laugh echoed in Nash's mind. No, you can't.

"I can, if you'd just leave me alone. You've done enough damage."

The damage is only beginning, little Nash.

His body convulsed, and he cried out. "Stop it!"

You can't stop me. You're weak. Just like your mother. Just like your father.

"She was the strongest person I've ever known for enduring your cruelty and manipulation all her life!"

What of your father? You don't even know his name, cackled Rayn. Did you ever wonder why he never visited you? It was because he was a coward.

"You told me he was dead!" Nash had always known she was lying. Not that it mattered now.

He's dead to me, said Rayn.

Before Nash could ask what that meant, the pain intensified as if Rayn pressed a nerve inside his head.

You think you're a king, Nash, but I know better. You're a lonely, scared little boy, always hiding behind his mother's skirt.

"That's not true."

Pity she isn't here to protect you anymore.

A cold feeling spread from Nash's head to the rest of his body. He looked down at himself, feeling strangely detached.

Those were his hands, but why did they feel like they belonged to someone else?

He had never felt anything like this before. It was like his consciousness was being peeled away from his body.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

Goodbye, Nash, said Rayn.

No. No, no, no.

This was one battle Nash couldn't lose. He would die before he gave Rayn all his power.

Nash clung on with all the strength he had left, but he was no match for Rayn. Everything that made him Nash was absorbed into something darker and more powerful.

He was vaguely aware of his body drawing itself to its full height. His face hadn't changed in appearance, but when he looked in the mirror, his lip curled in that way he knew so well.

Rayn.

His vision went black as she took over that part of him. Now Nash was the one in Rayn's head, and he knew exactly what she was thinking.

She knew where to find Lyrani Esch.