Silver Bullets [AaronHotchnerFanFic]

11.

"Umm you're the one who needs it... No offense Hotch, but you look—horrible."

I mean... it's true, just looking at his eyes I could tell he was beyond tired. He's got dark circles around his eyes along with the bags that laid under.

"You're not going to budge are you?" He asks.

"noPe." I say popping the "P"

He looks at me for a moment without saying anything. Then he shuffles the papers and puts them back into the files then sets them on the end table.

"Alright. I'll go to sleep if you go sleep."

A small smile plays across my lips.

"Alright then." I respond with a smile.

1 point Hudson - 0 points Hotchner.

"You don't get a point for that." He says as he lays back on the couch.

"Yesss I do." I say under my breath as I close my laptop then lay back on the bed.

About half an hour passes and I still can't fall asleep. Mostly because the beeping of the monitors and the dampened noise from the hallway annoyed the hell out of me.

I glance over at Hotch. He was laying on his back with his arms behind his head.

"Go to sleep."

I furrow my brows and look up at the ceiling. How did he know I glanced at him?

"I'm not tired and I'm not a child."

"I know you're not, but you're definitely acting like one right now."

"How?" I ask.

"Because you won't go to sleep."

"So?"

"See. What'd I say." He says.

I don't say anything for a moment.

"Go to sleep." He says.

"Orrrr what?" I grin.

I could hear him shift on the couch. Still grinning, I look over at him. He was sitting up. I couldn't really see his face because the lack of light in the room but I'm assuming he had his usual glare.

"Your body needs to rest right now."

"I don't want to."

I could tell he's getting annoyed but I find it kinda cute.

"You need to and you have to." He replies.

"I mean I don't haveeee to."

"Stop being stubborn and sleep. You just woke up from a coma, you're body needs the sleep."

My grin eventually fades and I start to bite the side of my cheek. He knew what that meant. It was a nervous tick I picked up.

He sighs in slight defeat then says something but I was too focused on the incoming anxiety attack that I couldn't hear him.

I start thinking about what would happen if I were to slip into another coma. If I'd never wake up again. I started to think about when I was shot. All the feelings from that night came flooding back. Then the thoughts of the cartel. If they ever found out Hotch knew, they'd kill him and Jack along with his entire family. If I ever told the team about the cartel and the cartel found out they'd kill them and their families. They'd all die because of me and my past.

I quickly snap out of my thoughts when I feel warm hands gently engulf my cold hand. I look to my right, Hotch was now sitting in a chair beside the bed. That's when I realized a few tears were rolling down my cheeks, my heart rate was rapid, and my chest was tight which made it hard to breath. I try to say something but can't.

"Hey, you're okay... You're safe here. Just breathe." His voice was lower than usual.

I close my eyes, which made more tears fall. I try to get my breathing under control but my chest was still tight and I felt light headed. I absolutely hate these.

"Hotch... I'm afraid." I eventually admit. My faint raspy voice was barley above a whisper.

I was afraid. Afraid of what would happen.

"I know you are..." He says softly.

I feel the warmth of his hand as he wipes away the tears on my cheeks.

"It's okay to be afraid sometimes..."

For a moment the both of us are quiet. A few more tears fall and again his warm hand gently wipes them away.

"Hey, you're okay." He says.

I open my eyes but everything was blurry from the tears.

"Im sorry for putting you and the team through this..."

He gently takes his hand off my cheek and holds my hand between both of his.

He doesn't respond.

I take a sharp inhale.

"I always thought I'd be scared to die. But I wasn't. I wasn't scared to die... I was scared about what would happen after. What it would put the team through... what it would put you and Jack through," More tears began to roll down my cheeks. He grips my hand a little tighter.

"That should've been my last breath. I shouldn't be here." I finish.

It was true. That should've been my last and final breath. It would be hell of a lot easier if it was.

"But it wasn't. You're here and alive for a reason... You're safe and you'll be safe from now on, I'll make sure of it." He says.

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A/N: I hope you're enjoying the story so far! Let me know if you have any questions or comments! Things should be picking up soon so stay tuned!
:)
~Emily
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