Itsy Bitsy Spider

54. Loose Ends

He'd missed his chance before. He failed to keep his brother from leaving.

But he recognized Killua's aura as soon as he'd set foot in the Spider's camp, hiding his presence as he watched him. Eavesdropped. And his brother and Rein were planning to meet again soon, very soon, and Kalluto intended to be there. Killua was the most important member of the Zoldyck family at the moment, and it was his role to bring him back. Nothing else.

Illumi said that the Gon boy was manipulating Killua into wanting to tear himself from his family and his priorities. That friends had no place in assassination, and would only hinder Killua's performance if it continued.

It echoed in his head. That word. Friends.

"...and I heard a little bit about your Nen ability from the others and it sounds truly inspiring!" Zushi stated, having gone off on a tangent while Kalluto wasn't listening. "I am humbled by your example and hope I have just as great a Hatsu too!"

Kalluto didn't know how to respond to this, especially coming back from his own mental spiel. "You're... blunt," was all he could manage to get out.

Zushi cocked his head, no doubt wondering why he wasn't happy.

"Hey." His voice was low, his expression unreadable. "Other people, Machi and Feitan and all of them, they... talk about me? Me?"

"Yes. Feitan-san always uses you as an example of what we should be when pointing out our flaws." He was curious. "Do you not believe me?"

"But... why?"

"Because you're amazing!"

Kalluto pursed his lips, and raised an unamused eyebrow.

"W-well! You are smart because your Hatsu is very well thought out, and you know how to be firm because you are sometimes bossy, and you are very reliable..." The list went on as Zushi spewed every single good detail about Kalluto, under the false impression that he had insecurities. Though with the terrible way he was phrasing it, maybe it would come true. "...and you're very neat because I've seen you brush your teeth before and you do it very systematically-"

"Is this what friendship is like?" he snorted, leaning away from the candid praise in mock suppressed horror. "Because now I'm starting to understand why my family is so afraid of it."

"Friends?" Zushi almost screeched as Kalluto regretted every single decision he'd ever made. "We're friends now?" He jumped up excitedly. "Are we possibly best friends?"

Zushi was kicked out.

"Come back in an hour," Kalluto ordered, and shut the door, going to make food like he'd originally planned. Getting a confidant had been on the list earlier as well, but seeing as Kalluto had hardly said anything personal, that plan was out the window. It was strange, but often being the carrier of all his mother's worries, he was starting to feel weighed down. It didn't make sense. They weren't physical things, so they couldn't possibly have weight. But somehow they did, and now Kalluto wanted to talk about it with someone. A confidant for the confidant.

But he was not skilled in talking, so he supposed thinking about everything alone would have to suffice.

It wasn't like he wanted a friend, as Zushi claimed. No, just... someone to talk to, or play with. That was all. Illumi said friends were poisonous. He couldn't sacrifice himself in such a way by having one. Although he supposed those words were for Killua, who would head the Zoldycks later on. As Kalluto was just the youngest son, maybe his family wouldn't mind?

* * *

Zushi sighed, but left with a content smile on his face. He had so many friends now! It was a definite change from when he'd been with Master Wing. There hadn't been much children, and less so adults with time to play. Choosing to leave Heaven's Arena was one of the best decisions he'd ever made.