Day by day, Sungyoon and Haru fought everyday. Joochan heard everything about it. Because of it, Joochan felt sorrow and depressed. He wasn't doing well in his class and he became a passive person. He liked to hold his problems alone. He didn't talk much and he liked to skip his meal.
One night, Joochan saw Haru was waiting for Sungyoon to come home. Sungyoon became a workaholic person because he didn't want to be at home all the time. He felt annoyed when Haru talked about Joochan or he saw Joochan.
Sungyoon returned home late. Haru woke up when Sungyoon returned. Sungyoon entered his house and she saw Haru just woke up.
"Oppa, you're home" Haru said. Sungyoon just looked at her without any words.
"Have you eaten? I cooked your favourite food.." Haru said. Sungyoon had avoided her everyday because they would fight everyday if Haru talked about Joochan. Even if Haru called for Joochan to take his meal with them, Sungyoon would get annoyed. That was why Joochan liked to skip his meal. He wanted to give Haru and Sungyoon time together but it didn't turn out well when Haru looked anxious if Joochan didn't take his meal. They ended up arguing.
Sungyoon ignored Haru and went upstairs.
"Oppa, do you want to drink anything?" Haru tried to make Sungyoon talked.
"No. I am not hungry nor thirsty. I want to rest" Sungyoon said without looking at Haru. He went straight to his bedroom. Haru followed Sungyoon.
"Oppa, aren't you hungry? You return home late.." Haru said.
"I said, I just want to rest" Sungyoon said.
"Are you still mad at me? If you do, I am sorry.." Haru apologized. Sungyoon just remained silent. He took out his shirt to take a bath.
"Oppa.." Haru said. Sungyoon ignored her.
"Huh.. I don't know what I am going to do to seek for your forgiveness. Please, tell me what can I do.." Haru said.
"I've told you for so many times.." Sungyoon took his towel.
"I can do anything for you but please.. don't take Joochan away.." Haru sighed.
"Then, there is nothing I can do.." Sungyoon said. They started to argue. Joochan at that time was still awake. He was doing some revision. He switched off his bedroom light so Haru would think that he was sleeping but he was not. He only turned on his table lamp. When Haru and Sungyoon fought, he heard everything. He felt very sad to hear about that. His tears suddenly fell down. He cried without any voices. His chest was pain. He felt heartbroken. Joochan put his head on the desk. Crying, without any voices. It was the painful crying, when you held everything in yourself, because you couldn't say it out loud.
Joochan took his diary. He began writing what he felt. Joochan wrote everything he couldn't say in his diary. His diary was his 'closest friend' because only his diary 'knew' his exact feeling.
"Dear diary,
I feel sad to hear that Ahjussi and Omma fought again because of me. Why am I living for this? Why am I the chosen one to live like this? Why me? Why me..
I am tired to live like this. I want to end this real quick. I don't want to hear Ahjussi and Omma to argue again. I want them to be happy but how? If I am still here.
Omma, Ahjussi,
I love you. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I don't even have the right to get close to you. Don't love me. Ahjussi don't have the ease of being able to give me his heart. I live everyday beyond my strength, each day is too much so I cry everyday.
YOU ARE READING
FANTASIA 「HJC」
Fanfiction"Nuna, I want to marry you when I am bigger" Joochan said. - Joochan,7, lived with his mother in Seoul. His father had passed away after being shot by the maniacs when working. His mother married to another man and has a son together with his new hu...
