CHAPTER EIGHT,
narrative ( friday )
zara was curled up in her queen sized bed, her white duvet draped and wrapped around her body tightly.
although the fault in our stars was playing on her flatscreen tv, which was mounted onto the wall across from her bed, zara's attention was focused on her phone which was laying beside her.
she was waiting for a text from him but her screen remained black, only lighting up every once and a while when she got an instagram or snapchat notification.
she hadn't talked to him all week, simply because he was avoiding her. after day two zara was ready to just give up. give up on him, give up on them, give up on it all. she had no idea what she did wrong and it was really bugging her. the only thing she could do was cry while listening to her sad playlist and while watching sad romances. it was the easiest way for her to cope.
just as she was about to call it a night being that it was 11:45pm her bedroom door flew open. zara screamed as she couldn't make out the figure standing in her doorframe.
she pulled the duvet over her head in fear, believing that it could somewhat protect her. she saw that her lights were switched on before footsteps were heard approaching her bed.
"what the hell is wrong with you?" vinnie asked as he pulled the sheets from off of her head. zara slowly opened her eyes at the sound of the familiar voice.
"vinnie?! what are you doing here?! or more importantly how did you get in here?!" zara exclaimed, bursting out all her questions in one breath.
vinnie pulled a key from out of his hoodie pocket, holding it up in the air. "and i need to talk to you" he sat down on the edge of the bed beside her.
the key vinnie had was a spare the family kept under the flower pot out front. he only knew of its existence because of the last time his parents kicked him out the house for throwing a giant party. to sumit up, there were cops involved.
"oh now you want to talk" zara sassed as she moved to sit up against the headboard, pulling the sheet over her chest. she was only dressed in her gray calvin klein sports bra and a pair of velvet shorts and she didn't feel like letting him get the pleasure of seeing her in it.
vinnie sighed, "look... i understand i'm 100% in the wrong here and you have every right to be upset with me but i have my reasonings"
"don't you always" zara stated dully, not surprised by the boys words. he always had excuses and never cared to explain things beyond the surface point. it always bothered zara but she didn't ask further questions to respect his privacy or simply because she was too annoyed to care.
vinnie gave her a sad look, although zara's attention was set to the wall. she didn't want to look at him. after a couple moments of silence vinnie spoke again, "i was just doing a lot of thinking to get my head set"
"so was i" zara fiddled with her fingers. "what were you thinking about" he asked, ultimately afraid of the answer.
zara sighed and looked up at him, "i love you vin... you know i do but..." she looked back down unable to face him, "i think we need a small break, just to get our heads right"
vinnie chuckled, not being able to comprehend, "you're not serious right?"
"i think it's what's best for us, i can't deal with you lashing out on me anymore. i hate arguing, you know that but you literally make it impossible to not argue. you promised you would cut out all your bad habits yet you still lead on other girls, you still lie to me, and you still haven't even come clean about any of your secrets. honestly i would be stupid to hang in here any longer vin" zara said smoothly. she practiced this exact conversation in her head all week, it was just disappointing that it actually had become a reality.
vinnie frowned as he swallowed the lump in his throat. he wasn't a crier, but he felt the tears forming in his eyes. everyone told him the same thing, that he would end up forcing the relationship apart if he didn't change. but vinnie didn't listen, he didn't want to believe that zara would ever break up with him even if she had all the right in the world to.
he felt all the guilt weighing down on his shoulders. he wanted to come clean sooner but he was scared. scared that the truth would make him lose the only girl he would ever truly love forever.
"i'm sorry" was all vinnie could say as he quickly wiped away a tear that escaped from his eye. zara automatically felt her heart drop. she felt guilty, she hated seeing people cry. maybe i was too hard on him she thought i should've just gave him more time to come clean to me.
zara bit her bottom lip, "i don't want us to be apart for too long... but i want you to figure things out and get your priorities straight"she said softly
vinnie looked up into her eyes, as he bit the inside of his cheek to prevent any more tears, "i know what i want" he mumbled.
she gave him a small sympathetic smile as she took his hand in hers, "no you don't... and that's okay, that's why i'm giving you time. i'm gonna be here when you're ready like always"
"yes i do" he countered, "i want you it's all i've ever wanted". she looked down at their hands, "if you really wanted me we wouldn't be in this position vinnie. there wouldn't be other girls if i was all you wanted, you wouldn't have to hide our relationship if i were all you wanted. if you really want to be with me you have to show it, the i love you's are losing their meaning"
vinnie understood where she was coming from. if she just knew the root off all this, the one main problem behind everything, this whole situation would make sense. he was ready to tell her, but he also wanted to respect her wishes.
he slowly got off the bed, stuffing his hands inside his hoodie pocket, leading zara to pull from underneath the sheets, letting her legs dangle from the side of the bed. she looked up at him waiting for a response she knew she would never get.
vinnie soon let himself look upon the girl once more after trying to collect himself. his eyes trailed up her long slender legs, to her slim waist, and finally her chocolate brown eyes. that's when he first realized how puffy and red they were.
the intense eye contact and silence of the suburban night left an eery feeling the room. things felt so weird and off which neither teens were fond of. they never believed things would get to this point so ultimately both zara and vinnie didn't know how to react.
zara bit her lip before quickly getting up, wrapping her arms around vinnies waist. it took him a second before he finally hugged her back, allowing her head to lay on his chest.
it was sad to say but that hug was the most intimate the couple had been in weeks, the two almost forgetting how amazing it was to be under each other's grip.
vinnie let out a loving sigh at the feeling of her petite body in his arms. he knew he would have to change things for the sake of more nights like these. more nights together.
𝐣𝐨𝐭𝐬
i actually hate this but
it isss what it issss
