Closing Time

35.

He sighed, raising his hand to rub my lips. "Your lips are blue. There's frost on the ends of your hair. It's best you avoid looking like you've stepped out a Siberian winter."

I reached up to grab his hand and move it away from my face. Now that he said it, my lips did feel very cold. I turned again, heading towards the alley's exit as I ran a hand through my hair. "The running will warm me up."

"Whatever you say." Axel mumbled behind me. I could hear his feet fall in time with mine. "Am I coming up with you?"

"No. Wait in the lobby or outside." I replied curtly. I could see the warm light flooding out my door, highlighting Onoda's silhouette.

"Whoa... you live here?" He mumbled to himself.

"Yes. It's a friend's apartment."

Onoda heard my voice, turning to look as I approached the stairs. Surprise passed through him. He quickly tipped his hat. "Good morning, Ms. Ryleigh. Wh-"

"Onoda, Axel. Axel, Onoda." I exhaled harshly as I reached the top of the steps, pausing to get some more words out. "Let him wait here, or in the lobby. I shouldn't be long."

"Hey." Axel replied casually behind me as I dashed through the doors. He didn't follow. The receptionist glanced up at me, also surprised at my hurry and early appearance. I'd been coming back at almost 3 AM everyday for a week now.

The lift dinged open, I pressed my floor and let the door close behind me. The tapping of my foot was extremely loud in the enclosed space. I tried to relax the worried look my reflection was showing by taking a few deep breaths. It helped slow my racing heart down.

Shaking my head, I exited the lift on my floor, starting to feel some kind of regret at doing this. I trusted Trace, so I should have no problem in leaving him alone in my apartment. If I burst in now, he would feel that I don't trust him... but then again, he's been very understanding about my reservations about my private space. He's listened me through everything I've told him. He'll... He'll understand, right?

I hesitated a bit before sliding my passkey through the reader. I entered the passcode, hearing the door click open. Exhaling harshly, I pushed the door open, stepping in and looking around the place.

An almost immediate sense of relief formed in me as I entered the apartment. It wasn't the familiarity but the fact that everything seemed untouched at first glance.

My eyes flickered to the laptop sitting on my kitchen island. It's charging cord was connected and the screen was set to a familiar blank one with the words 'Video Chat Ended' on the screen. He was done? Already? I thought it would take him an hour.

"Trace?" I called out softly, my hand curling into a fist by my side. Is he in the bathroom?

I reached into my purse, pulling out my mace and my mobile. It was set to speed-dial Onoda if I needed him. My heart was in my mouth. And it started up a very dangerous pace as I noticed light streaming out of my bedroom.

All the other doors were also thrown wide open, lights on in those empty rooms too. Did I leave those on? I don't even go in those rooms.

My feet felt like lead as I forced myself to walk towards my room. It felt awful. I felt awful. My gut was screaming to turn back, my heart was pounding out of my chest and I felt on the edge of a breakdown. A breakdown I hadn't had since Lou had forced himself into my life. It felt like a piece of me was dying. I don't want to see what's there. I don't want to see Trace doing what I think he's doing. I want to be wrong. I want to feel guilty for not having trusted Trace. I... I...

I wanted to not hear the sounds of frantic movement in my room. My throat was closing up as I took the last few steps till my bedroom door. My heart squeezed itself so hard as I looked inside. It felt like it would shatter.